The fathers with birth trauma: 'It was like watching a car crash'
Birth trauma does not just affect the woman giving birth - for partners watching but helpless on the sidelines, it can be a scarring experience
Birth trauma does not just affect the woman giving birth - for partners watching but helpless on the sidelines, it can be a scarring experience
He's altered the way she showers, stands - and even how she spends her free time. Which is why Emma Reed will never forget the health and lifestyle guru...
By the time I hit midlife I'd internalised so much misleading data, I didn't know how to eat properly. Zoe helped me take back control
Let's stop mirroring the one-way traffic of texts, voice-notes and social media stories, and communicate collaboratively, writes Emma Reed
If you have a long car journey ahead during the school holidays, these simple tips could avoid stress and upset along the way
The long summer break dates back to times of harvest, but that doesn't mean things should change
The Hollywood actor has bought his wife Amal a St Bernard puppy for her birthday. That might be a mistake, says reluctant dog owner Tony Turnbull
Despite all our training, our cockapoo became unpredictable and stressed - antidepressants have calmed him down
Emma Reed says the ZOE app has improved her sleep, got rid of her headaches and helped her lose weight - with no cutting out foods
There are some arguments that play on repeat for most couples. Counsellor Natasha Silverman shares the advice she gives around three contentious issues
What are the key elements to a happy marriage and what are the things we shouldn't get too hung up about? Emma Reed spoke to relationship experts who share their insights
During their '777' experiment, Emma Reed and her husband were reminded of their shared sense of fun and laughter away from draining parental and work responsibilities
As parents, we know this day is coming, yet it still has a potent power to blindside us when it finally arrives, says Emma Reed
The deluge of contradictory messages about health - where coffee will kill you one week and render you immortal the next - left Emma Reed baffled. She wanted something more concrete; to know what was going on inside her
' Aged man procreates ' - not something you might think necessarily newsworthy given it's been happening for millennia. However, this particular man is Robert De Niro who, at the age of 79, has just welcomed his seventh child.
We may be living longer, but a consequence of that is that those extra years are often beset by ill health and disease. According to Alzheimer's Research UK, in January 2022 there were 944,000 people estimated to be living with dementia in the UK, more than ever before, with that number projected to increase.
For every libido-charged Love Island - er gracing our screens, there are plenty of people across the UK who are wondering if their own sex drive has escaped to a remote and barren island, never to return.
By the age of nine, 10 per cent of British children have seen pornography, and half have seen it by the age of 13, a report published by the Children's Commissioner revealed this week. In it, Dame Rachel de Souza said: "We find pornography exposure is widespread and normalised - to the extent that 'opting-out' isn't an option for many young people."
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." The first sentence of Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina has been thrown into sharp relief recently with the revelations of Prince Harry and the publication of his book, . Naturally, everyone has a view as to whether and how royal reparations can be made.
10 small changes: In this week-long series, i looks at ways we can improve our sleep, diet, relationships, exercise, and overall happiness. Instead of setting unrealistic goals we'll all give up on by the end of January, we're sharing achievable and practical tips The pursuit of happiness is the subject of serious study.
10 small changes: In this week-long series, i looks at ways we can improve our sleep, diet, relationships, exercise, and overall happiness. Instead of setting unrealistic goals we'll all give up on by the end of January, we're sharing achievable and practical tips The new year is often a time when people reflect on their relationships, whether it's with family, partners or friends, especially as Christmas can be a flashpoint for tensions.
10 small changes: In this week-long series, i looks at ways we can improve our sleep, diet, relationships, exercise, and overall happiness. Instead of setting unrealistic goals we'll all give up on by the end of January, we're sharing achievable and practical tips It's no wonder we are confused.
10 small changes: In this week-long series, i looks at ways we can improve our sleep, diet, relationships, exercise, and overall happiness. Instead of setting unrealistic goals we'll all give up on by the end of January, we're sharing achievable and practical tips It's that time of year again when gyms are heaving at the beginning of January - but by the end of February are looking pretty empty.
10 small changes: In this week-long series, looks at ways we can improve our sleep, diet, relationships, exercise, and overall happiness. Instead of setting unrealistic goals we'll all give up on by the end of January, we're sharing achievable and practical tips By the time we reach 70 years old, we will have spent 220,000 hours in bed, according to Dr Neil Stanley, the author of How To Sleep Well.
It was while we were watching an episode of Bake Off that it happened. My daughter, 12, kept glancing down at her phone and sighing. She tossed it away on the sofa in frustration only to snatch it up again. While pastry-related banter took place on screen, I watched my daughter unravel in real time.
Kirsten Shaw has written letters since she was a small child. Along with her four siblings (three brothers and one sister), she has always made a point of writing thank you letters to relatives and friends, particularly following birthdays or Christmases. And the habit has stuck.
As Britain plunges towards a recession - forecast to be the longest in living memory, according to the Bank of England - and the cost of living continues to rise and squeeze families across the country, more of us are worrying about making ends meet over the coming months.
"We are asking from one person what an entire village used to provide," says psychotherapist Esther Perel, in an interview with the New Yorker. She is speaking of what we look for in a partner. That's an immense burden of responsibility to place on any one person in our lives, yet for those seeking "the one", the stakes are high.
A few weeks ago, Kim Kardashian appeared on the cover of Interview magazine, her bare bottom resplendent in a jock strap under the cover line, 'American Dream.' Gwyneth Paltrow recently celebrated her 50th birthday by releasing a photograph of herself naked, spray painted in a golden sheen, and posted it on Goop's Instagram and its 1.7million followers.
Before the pandemic, Pat Higgins, 67, was a busy woman, involved in her local community in Newcastle. During a typical week she went to the library, the cinema, visited friends and went shopping. She attended a community café once a week and joined an arts group where she did her very first painting.
"If you let another waiter cut the bread again, I'll slash your f****** throat." I'm 18. Hot breath in my face, angry eyes staring me down. While intense, I wasn't scared. I recognised I made a mistake: a waiter had butchered a beautiful loaf at my station.
"All these people who spend their train journey sleeping. They don't know what they are missing!" David Cooper charted his first interrailing adventure on Twitter, celebrating his 60 th birthday in Strasbourg. Trains had been a significant part of David's life - he worked for nearly 40 years in the rail industry, but he'd never interrailed.
We are sitting in front of steaming pots of moules à la crème and salty-crisp frîtes, taking our cue from all the other diners. This is how you do the beach à la française. No mindless snacking, with "sandwiches" taking on a whole new meaning.
Gwyneth Paltrow needs to dial the naked birthday photos down in recognition of those of us sitting on the bed staring at a new crop of thread veins says Emma Reed
The day Prince Philip died, so did my father. It was sudden and shocking. I know that feeling where you walk around in your bubble of grief, the sounds of daily life muffled. All normal operation is suspended. You can't believe that complete strangers have the audacity to ignore your pain.
It used to be the subject we loved or hated, says Emma Reed - but new approaches are adding up to renewed interest . Maths can be one of those subjects that provokes a strong reaction: people either love it or hate it. That feeling often continues well into adulthood.
One of the striking features of many prep schools is their location. Often in spectacular settings, housed in grand buildings, beauty is all around. It's no wonder there's a daily reminder that such beauty is worth preserving. If you work hard to safeguard your immediate surroundings, there will be a ripple effect that can impact matters of global importance.
An Instagram reel caught my eye recently. It was one of those "surprise" marriage proposals, where a phone just happened to be mounted on a tripod. Cue some hackneyed theatrics in a lakeside setting. Visible in the background was a dog scooting its bottom along the grass in search of relief.
"If you really focus and use your imagination, I swear you can taste cheese on these dry crackers." Sitting in Florence's Santa Maria Novella railway station, my friends looked at me with both pity and disbelief, unconvinced. Our budget was tight, and we were biding time while we worked out where we were going to stay.
'It's bloody bostin' aye it bab?' To you, that might sound like a vague threat. Something is broken perhaps. To me, it's a verbal hug denoting something marvellous. For years, I laboured under the misunderstanding that our affectionate Birmingham insult of calling someone a 'daft apeth' referred to a mythical miniature ape-like creature (the 'h' was always dropped).
Ricocheting off the ranks of mirrors were words such as 'buttery blonde,' 'bitter chocolate' and 'burnt toffee.' Hair color trends as a culinary experience. I stared at the stubborn patch of what I can only describe as 'colander gray,' aglow in the mood lighting, conveniently situated just where my hair parts.
"Do you know what your problem is?" I yelled at my husband from across the room, suffused with a white-hot rage. "You're just so...you're just so..." (flailing about for the killer accusation now) "You're just so f***ing reasonable!" My slipper whizzed past his ear for pathetic emphasis.
Recently, I read something so chilling I couldn't put it down. I read the words over and over again, a sickly dread spreading through me. It wasn't the latest thriller. It was something written by a friend in the US.
There's a new career coach in town. They don't have a shiny website full of impenetrable jargon (you won't find the word "curator" here). If you want an in-person coaching session, you won't find yourself on Zoom or in a smart office; you'll be in a corral on a ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
We settled into our travelling roles, developing our own Morse code of glances and pauses. Put a family on a small rib boat with a marine biologist on a foggy Monterey morning with no distinction between sea and horizon, and you will know how they work.
'Why have you let her go so long?' the consultant barked at the midwife. 'She seemed to be coping well,' the midwife answered. This was the first inkling, aside from my increasing exhaustion and discomfort, that something wasn't right. It must be our fault, I thought. I could see how we were easily overlooked.
In its State of Ageing Report for 2022, the Centre for Ageing Better declares that England is becoming an increasingly difficult country in which to grow old. In 10 years' time, the number of people aged 65 and over will have increased from 11 million to 13 million people, 22 per cent of the population.
If you had told me that I would be plunged into an existential crisis in the process of buying a sandwich, I would have laughed. Obviously, the place for such a crisis is when you're gazing at a harvest moon humbled by your own insignificance in the world.
I remember almost everything about the morning I stepped on a bomb, or at least it feels that way. I was later told I had stopped breathing four times and I was certainly unconscious. It was 18 July 2009 and I had been in Afghanistan for about two months serving as a captain in the Rifles.
It's a glorious Saturday afternoon and my husband and I are standing awkwardly on our local common. We should be yomping along with our ball-obsessed dog, but a playful spaniel has hurtled over, swiped our dog Chester's ball and is refusing to give up its drool-coated treasure.
Encouraging your child to be a chorister could be one of the best decisions you make, says Emma Reed. It is a unique and extraordinary experience. We are fortunate to have a strong presence of cathedral schools in this country who proudly continue the choral tradition.
From music tech to jazz bands, harpsichord to opera class - in the post-lockdown quiet, schools are turning up the volume, says Emma Reed. 'Music has a power of forming the character and should therefore be introduced into the education of the young.' Aristotle's words, as ever, have stood the test of time.
Friendship is a human need, but if you're hooked on the idea of a group dynamic, you may be seeking the wrong tribe in the wrong place. Emma Reed discovers how belonging can be found without a large posse of pals
Breathing is something you rarely pay attention to unless, like I did, you stop. During the past couple of years, in the middle of the night I have found myself sitting bolt upright before propelling myself out of bed in a bid for survival.
I am standing in front of the rows of Christmas cards with a feeling of rising panic. I'm willing myself to select one as I inwardly list the reasons not to: too saccharine, too glittery, too crude. I fail and slope away, frustrated by my inability to engage in a task I usually enjoy.
Uncertainty. The feeling we thought we had put to bed for a long overdue nap is back and it's turbocharged, thanks to the arrival of the omicron variant. There's a palpable sense of dread among parents, schools and children themselves about what lies in store in the New Year.
This year, I face a crater-like absence that still holds the power to shock me.
'I've got some extra lines in the production - one of the cast is off with Covid-19!' texted my 11-year-old from her school drama rehearsal. My personal alert system, which had been humming softly since the return to school in September, had ramped up in volume a few weeks ago as cases started to rise in my daughter's school - and it kicked into hypervigilant mode in response to this message.
My passenger turned to me and asked: "How did that feel?" The tears came before my reply. Tears of relief and elation. The reason? I had just driven one junction of the M1. Something so innocuous to many yet a personal Everest to me.
There was a time when a particular educational path bestowed a measure of certainty of employment. A decent set of A-levels offered up a choice of well-regarded universities. A degree at one of those universities, irrespective of subject, opened the door to excellent career prospects.
" I have a project to complete." The words that extinguish all joy from a school holiday. Leave them alone and let them get on with it, intervening only to stop glitter glue adding a new dimension to your newly laid parquet floor.
'A well-educated mind will always have more questions than answers," said activist Helen Keller. Following two severely disrupted academic years, students starting university this year are likely to have more questions than ever. The leap from sixth form to university has always been a significant one, but for some this year it could feel like a yawning chasm.
I'm holding my breath. My thudding heat amplifies on hearing the familiar incantation: "En garde. Ready. Fence." I feel nauseous. Suddenly, the lightning charge down the piste, the clash of metal and it's over; the critical point lost.
Within two weeks of each other, two high-profile women have made the decision to step back from work owing to mental-health issues. Nadia Whittome MP recently posted on Twitter that, on the advice of her doctor, she would be taking time away from work because of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"Couldn't you just have held on for a couple of hours?" Proffered as a joke by well-meaning friends and family, this was the phrase I kept hearing as I gingerly made my way through the fog of those early days after my first child was born. I wasn't amused.
It was the bedroom call that made me snap. Near midnight, padding around the bathroom brushing my teeth, I was aware of my husband talking to someone on his mobile from our bed. It was a client. I clattered around the bathroom in a frustrated rage.
Never would I imagine myself saying that I felt a deep connection with the Royal family. However, a story of loss and grief crossed over from the media channels and came brutally crashing into my own life.
The detrimental effect of the pandemic on the nation's mental health is clear. Something that has been largely overlooked, however, is the mental health crisis affecting new and expectant mothers and its impact upon their family.
It's my responsibility to teach my sons to respect women and it's more important than ever now I realise the minefield they are navigating
It might be harder than having 'the chat' about alcohol and drugs, but talking to our sons about pornography now feels far more important
It's been close to 14 months, apart from a single, emotional 20-minute hiatus. The longest period of my life. Scroll back a couple of years and imagine being told you will spend 14 long months quashing every natural instinct to physically connect with a person you love; that person being the reason you exist at all.
I used to hate the hairdresser's chair (and I have visited many in the quest for hair nirvana). This emotion was not follicle related. It was to do with one simple question: "So, what do you do?" Like a verbal tic, my rapid-fire response rushed out. "Oh, I used to be a lawyer."
I can usually read the daily weather outlook of my family like the shipping forecast - from 'visibility poor' and 'becoming cyclonic', to 'mainly fair' and sometimes even 'good'. My barometer has gone haywire lately, though. A storm can arise out of nowhere - resulting in a slammed door or a smashed phone.
Universities are going to be welcoming students who are out of practice in managing a revision workload and sitting formal exams along with hugely varied gaps in the content they have been taught or able to learn. That's going to be a significant leap for many to make.
The pandemic has given us a chance to question how best to educate our children - and the answer could lie beyond the traditional classroom
During the 1980s, I experienced a baptism of fire. I left my small girls' school which had only recently done away with the wearing of white gloves (thank God) and started sixth form at the local boys' grammar school.
If you want your children to learn a life skill and take their turn in the kitchen, every Wednesday at 4pm, charity Chefs in Schools is running a free live cookery class on its YouTube page.
For most families, life is now about surviving one day at a time, and few of us expect the Government to stick to its latest schools plan
It's precisely this wonder of seeing something up close that is hard to replicate as highlighted by Kate Fellows, Head of Learning and Access at Leeds Museums and Galleries. "Magic happens when you put an ancient Egyptian shabti into the hands of a child. They light up with awe and wonder.
You would think by now we would all be lockdown homeschooling pros. After all, we've been here before and we know what to expect. How hard can it be? Very, it would appear. Parents (and children) have seen their energy levels and enthusiasm depleted from the relentless hamster wheel of school and work, all taking place under one roof.
This includes those needed for essential financial services provision such as banks, building societies and financial markets infrastructure, the oil, gas, electricity and water sectors and IT and data infrastructure sectors. Also included are key staff in the civil nuclear, chemicals and telecommunications sectors, postal services and delivery, payment providers and waste disposal sectors.
And yet. As the announcement raised the possibility of formal exams again not taking place, across the room, I could feel all the motivation from my eldest ebbing away. He has worked hard over Christmas, even writing an essay on Boxing Day.
"It's a very visual way of expressing yourself," Thomas says and finds it exciting that his poem reaches hearing audiences too. "I just want to show that deaf people can also be involved with poetry. Hopefully it will open up people's ideas of BSL. It's such a visual beautiful language."
I'm not one for conspiracy theories but, towards the end of last year, I felt there were dark and sinister forces at work. It happened in a supermarket. I was jolted out of my usual autopilot, slammed my basket on the floor and exhaled a stream of expletives at a higher volume than intended.
"Mum, what's a copular verb?" My mind is not on the finer points of English grammar. It's that frenzied time of the evening familiar to many parents. Multiple children drop earthy-smelling kit bags in the middle of the hall and prowl around the kitchen opening any cupboard containing the promise of food, ranting about the injustices of their day.
'Have you spoken to your parents yet about Christmas?' came the question again from a concerned husband. My response each time was to mumble, shrug and attempt to dodge the issue. I didn't want to tell them our plans, as if staying silent on the issue would prevent it from becoming concrete.
It's early evening and our kitchen is throwing out 'The Apprentice' vibes. Three of us are lined up on one side of the table. Anyone else entering the kitchen is met with a glare and a warning shake of the head.
English students at universities in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland must adhere to the guidelines for where they are living before returning home and on arrival follow the rules for their local area.
I am trying to focus on the welcoming face on the screen in front of me, but my eyes are hungrily scanning the book-lined room behind it; rows upon rows from floor to ceiling. In our Zoom-saturated lives, this is bookshelf nirvana. A large egg-shaped chair hangs invitingly in the corner ready to cocoon the reader.
While September marks the start of the new school year, it is also the time when professional organisations such as legal and accountancy firms welcome their new intake of graduate trainees, often in substantial numbers. Ordinarily, this involves numerous training days at the office and a host of social activities to ease integration into this new world.
It's then that it hits you; a small ripple turns into a big wave. My eldest enters upper sixth this week to an A level year full of uncertainties, looking over his shoulder at what this year's cohort have suffered.
In an interview for The Times in 2009, Derren said, "University is where I became unbearable." Enigmatic, yes. Unbearable, no. He certainly cut a dandyish figure. His slight form could often be seen striding purposefully across the quad, a short cape billowing out behind him as if he had stepped out of a nineteenth century novel.
It's an anxious time for parents too, but if we have learned anything from living in the midst of a pandemic, it is how to adapt. The issue is how we best make use of the time now to make those initial university choices.
Here they are - the 20 talented writers who've made it on to our New Travel Writer of the Year longlist. Once again, the standard has been very high (we say this every year, but every year it's true!) and it has been a tough job whittling down the large number of entries to just 20.
Your internet connection is unstable. The message sat there in the middle of the screen, mocking. 'Quelle surprise,' Hope jeered (for she had taken to intense interactions with inanimate objects of late).
Have you downed your green juice this morning, chugged back your turmeric soy latte, artfully smashed your avocado on gluten free toast, massaged your kale (it's a thing apparently), channelled your chi with your chia seeds and executed your sun salutations clad in excruciatingly expensive 'activewear' on Insta?
Ask a child what their favourite colour is and they'll usually answer with a bright or primary one! Children love to inhabit a world of vibrant primary colours from which they draw and give energy. They won't say "beige". So why do we give them fifty shades of beige on their plates?
Rachel and her binge eating disorder secret Rachel is a highly intelligent, confident and sociable woman in her forties, with a successful career and a loving family. She stands in the queue of the local petrol station with her basket.
Something in the Reed household this weekend has been the source of fascination, delight, wonder and raptures. The latest Xbox download? No. A small box of raw honeycomb! My kids have marvelled at it, plunged teaspoons into it and begged to have some with Greek yogurt.