Zofishan Umair

Creative Non-Fiction Writer

Location icon Pakistan

Totally got awkward covered.

Satirical essays on the everyday - Incidents described herein actually happened and are true-- Or at least as true as they need to be.

Portfolio
Internshala blog
08/29/2012
Summer Internship with Hyeworth - 'Sara' from IBA

Sara won the Editor's Choice award for Most Hilarious Story - read on to find out why! Daily winner for: - 27th August 2012 Name of the intern: - Sara Institute: - IBA Organization interned with: - Hyeworth Editor's note: - 'Sara' chooses not to reveal her name and hence goes by this pseudonym.

DAWN.COM
05/05/2019
SOCIETY: THE SECOND ACT

For millennial mothers who opt for a career break due to lack of child care or spousal support, getting back into the job market can be a daunting task. Maria* unearths her resume from a hard drive, which is drowning in gigabytes of baby photos and printable Pre-K worksheets.

Khaleej Times 'Wedding Wows'
10/10/2016
Going Mrs.

All events described herein actually happened and are true-- Or at least as true as they need to be. This is for the brides who survived the wedding season, and the braver bridesmaids who survived the bridezillas. And since we're on the topic, I may have acted like one myself so, I’m sorry. There, I said it. Murphy, once 'wisely' pointed out, 'if things can go wrong they will go wrong.' Of course captain obvious here was referring to the universe always having the upper hand. And that is...

The Express Tribune
04/22/2013
"Stupid Minions" - The Express Tribune

Six months later 'employee of the month' finds herself awkwardly clinging to a slimy rung on the corporate ladder. Promoted to senior executive she now toys with the idea of having her own team of minions. "Stupid minions," I muttered under my breath.

Women's Own Magazine
09/10/2016
Going Mrs.

All events described herein actually happened and are true-- Or at least as true as they need to be. This is for the brides who survived the wedding season, and the braver bridesmaids who survived the bridezillas. And since we're on the topic, I may have acted like one myself so, I’m sorry. There, I said it. Murphy, once 'wisely' pointed out, 'if things can go wrong they will go wrong.' Of course captain obvious here was referring to the universe always having the upper hand. And that...

The Express Tribune
11/06/2011
The art of cooking - The Express Tribune

I don't know how I ended up here. The girl who had once dreamt of climbing the corporate ladder now stood on a cheap blue footstool wearing a cream apron reaching for the top shelf in the pantry. The empty nail in the wall near the door seemed to mock me - the perfect place to hang that degree.

The Express Tribune
08/19/2012
Redefining stupid - The Express Tribune

I wouldn't define myself as 'stupid' but recent events have forced me to question my claims of sanity and consider the idea of stamping the word across my face. After graduation, I wisely opted to wiggle my toes in faded oversized pink bunny slippers while my fellow graduates strutted around in kitten heels (monkey suits for the boys).

The Express Tribune
05/27/2013
Women drivers: Life in the Fast Lane - The Express Tribune

Not only does it beat waiting around for someone to drive you to wherever you want to go, it's an important skill you need to master before you can truly feel like an adult. Here are some tips to set you on your way to getting a driving license.

Excerpts

Yale
(Excerpt) Through The Eyes Of Tiger Cubs: Views Of Asia's Next Generation

Zofishan Shahid, 22, Pakistan, diagnoses the problem as moral decay: Asia’s biggest problem that impacts other areas and hinders growth is the moral decay in its societies. We are poor, deprived of moral education, and devoid of social values. All efforts at development are futile in a society that is selfish and looks for short-term gains. What are effective cures for these woes? Young Asians place their confidence in the media and the education system in fostering dialogue and a change in...