Teresa Newsome Altomare writes because she can't be a unicorn. She's obsessed with mermaids, glitter, self-esteem, sassy feminists, lesbians, nail art, sweet dance moves, snacks, fanny packs, and Amy Poehler. Most of her best friends are other people's dogs. Currently @topix, @bustle, @thebolde
There was a time when I wouldn't even let my own mother see me in a swimsuit because I hated my body so much. There was a time when I quit baton lessons because I was embarrassed to wear the sparkly leotard.
Is anxiety good for anything? I mean, it can ruin your social life, make relationships difficult and cause you to fear-sweat through all your makeup and bad ass outfits, sure. But aside from, you know, causing you a seemingly inhumane amount of discomfort, my anxiety actually makes me way better at relationships.
Is there anything in all the world that spins you into a rage faster than someone who makes a clearly offensive comment? I can't even - especially if it's a backhanded compliment, or something like that. Luckily, most people (at least the ones I know
29 Hilarious Times People Were Petty AF Online | And the winner of the petty award goes to? It's impossible to decide when you have such a vicious, yet delicious collection of people passing out shade.
Clocked: These 33 Hilarious RuPaul's Drag Race Contestants Were A Hot Mess | Welcome! You're all here because none of you were smart enough to leak an adult tape and land a reality TV show of your own. Just kidding. You're all here because you have Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve, and Talent.
A Sydney, Australia, woman used her iPhone to record a video of her C-section from her unique angle.
Being in an open relationship is not for the faint of heart. You really have to be ready, and you really have to know what you're doing. Otherwise, you might have to learn some brutal truths the hard way, like me. It didn't fix my betrayal problem.
When I log into my Facebook these days, I'm pretty much prepared for an onslaught of ridiculousness. But sometimes I see something that blows my mind in a way that requires so much more than an eye roll, a petty meme, or a donation to Planned Parenth
29 Hilarious Times Feminists Got Snarky | Trolls flock to feminists like moths to a flame. There's something about women who speak their minds that the Internet just can't handle. Not all feminists take trolling lying down though. So -- if you're going to come for these fierce creatures, you might want to leave your sensitive feelings at home.
I'm not sure if I liked watching the Miss America 2017 pageant more, or reading the live tweets. Between the feminist commentary, the fashion talk, the haters, the obsessed pageant fans, and the comedians, twitter gave the pageant a run for it's mone
A chocolate Lab came in for a C-section and delivered nine puppies. Sadly, one of those little pups had a severely cleft palate. Because this genetic defect normally spells death for animals because they can't properly nurse, the dog's owners made the tough decision to put him down.
It's hard to feel so helpless in the wake of such a tragedy. But that's how I feel. Helpless. And if social media is any indicator, that's also exactly what millions of good people around the world are feeling after this horrific act of violence against the LGBT+ community (that occurred on a large scale in Orlando, but that happens on a smaller scale each day).
Can You Name The 70s Song From Just Lyrics? | Past Woodstock, deep into Vietnam, the 70's were quite an interesting time. People were grooving to the funk, jamming out to classic rock, and baring their souls with solo ballads. R&B was making a name for itself, too.
33 LGBT Memes So Hilarious They'll Make You Gay (As In Happy) | Gays are funny. There's a special kind of humor that comes with being a societal underdog. And thank Barbara. I, personally, wouldn't want to live in a world without gay wit.
If You Do These 29 Things, You're Failing At Adulting | Listen. I know you didn't ask to become an adult. I mean, if we're getting technical, you didn't even ask to be born. Now all of a sudden you're supposed to be adulting and it feels like your parents (and the world) are just trolling you.
23 Hilarious Reasons That Moms Who Text Are The Best | Moms plus phones. Sigh. When they're not being annoyingly clueless, they're committing egregious emoji offenses. It's too much. On the plus side, at least you don't have to ask for money in person anymore.
29 Hipsters Ruining Tattoos. Because Hipsters Ruin Everything. | How can you say you liked tattoos before they were mainstream when you were born in the 1990s? It's just one of many things about hipsters that make zero sense to the rest of us. Let's make fun of bad hispter tatoos together.
23 Dogs With Human Babies That Will Make Your Ovaries (Or Brovaries) Explode | Have you ever been deep in those bad day feels when a picture of an impossibly cute puppy or super adorable baby turned your whole mood around? Well, batten down your hatches, because a hurricane of cute is about to wash over you.
33 Of The Most Hilariously Awkward Books On Amazon | When you think about people writing books, do you picture them as having interesting stories or important knowledge? I do! But this list of awkward, hilarious, ridiculous, scandalous titles blows all that out of the water.
29 Hilariously Awful Face Tattoos. What Were They Thinking? | Face tattoos aren't the end of the world anymore. It used to be that if you had a face tattoo, your life options were limited to prison or the hustle. Nowadays, you can even see basic white girls at Coachella with dream catchers permanently etched beside their ears.
The 39 Most Awkward Swimsuits In The World | Swimsuits are the worst. At best, they're those stretchy pieces of fabric that keep sand and seaweed trapped against our private parts. At worst, they make us feel uncomfortable and unattractive (even though we're not unattractive, obviously).
These 29 Hilarious Truths About Cats Will Make Every Cat Owner Laugh Out Loud | Oh, cats. They're furry, they're cute, and they're enormous jerks. Yet, still, no matter how vengeful or destructive they are, we wouldn't be complete without them. I mean, can you imagine the Internet without cats?
31 Hilarious Photos Of What Parenting Really Looks Like | If you're like me and you don't have kids, occasionally your reproductive organs mutiny. They see adorable pictures of babies dressed as mermaids on Pinterest and they start a riot that your brain interprets as "I absolutely need a tiny human of my own!"
29 Hipster Cats Who Are Judging You As We Speak | Hipsters get a lot of hate for their offbeat style, their weird taste, and their sense of entitlement, but really, what would the world be like without hipsters? Who would do the bee keeping? Who would buy up all the frame-less glasses?
29 Parents Who Totally Outsmarted Their Kids | People love to talk about the joys of parenting, but they act like the only glowing moments are baby smiles and first steps. Totally not true. Sometimes it's just as joyful (or at least satisfying) when parents get to outsmart their own kids or hand out super clever (and well-earned) punishments.
29 Funniest Reactions To Beyonce's Pregnancy Announcement | We've had a little bit of time as a nation to process the bombshell dropping a bombshell about her pregnancy. At first, we just responded with joy and joyness.
23 Hilarious Photos Of Pets Who Weren't Expecting You Just Yet | What do our pets do when we're gone? We imagine them laying in their beds, patiently waiting for us to return. In reality, they're curious, naughty creatures bent on destruction. These pets were all carrying on their hidden lives when they were totally busted.
A toddler in Kansas cuddles in bed with his two pit bulls who doze off as she reads them a bedtime story.
We all talk the talk when it comes to making the world a better place, but we don't always walk the walk. And we certainly don't walk the walk barefoot. But one man in Guatemala did just that when he stopped in the street and selflessly gave his brand-name sneakers to a complete stranger in need.
In fact, he was so serious about his desire to not have a big, slobbery, stinky, poorly behaved dog that he drew up a very long, very specific, and very funny contract for his kids to sign. He laid out an almost impossible set of standards for finding and caring for a dog, and he's basically the most hilarious parent ever.
Well, it wasn't enough for Instructables user kellechu, at least. She wanted to be able to take in the night sky, the planets, and the constellations at all hours of the day and night. Not only is the room she created impressive, but it's also durable.
I used to be satisfied with a cooler of drinks next to the fire pit in my yard...and then I saw this epic backyard tiki bar. Now I'm obsessed with the idea of building my own slice of tropical heaven.
Little boy looks heartbroken thinking his dad has forgotten his birthday until his dad sends him tot he trunk for this heartwarming surprise.
We can construct epic buildings where there was nothing but dirt, and we can plant jaw-dropping gardens where there wasn't any dirt to begin with. The people behind these gardens have proven that the sky is the limit, literally, when it comes to getting your green thumb on.
Now what do you make with them? How do you decide, when the possibilities are endless? I'm there, too, staring down at my crisper drawer (that's where I'm supposed to store them, right?) full of berries and promising that this will be the time that I make epic recipes.
Called pop where I come from, this carbonated stuff is one of the most widely consumed beverages in the country. Not surprising, since it tastes like a bubbly stream of heaven. But can that tasty stream drown you? Unfortunately, the answer may be yes.
Music festivals get all the credit for making summers exciting, but there are tons of weird food festivals all over the world that are just as bucket-list-worthy. Yeah, seeing your favorite band is a life-altering experience, but do you really want to die without ever having eaten bugs, been the first to try a new food, or wrestled in a giant vat of mashed potatoes?
He may not have intended to steal the show, but Mickey Mouse's super-cute reaction to a couple's engagement during a Disney photo op is almost more fun to watch than the actual engagement. Notice I said "almost," because this adorable couple is not only ridiculously happy, but their reaction to Mickey Mouse celebrating their engagement will charm the pants off of you.
Jongha Choi, a contextual design student from the Netherlands, took the phrase "art imitates life" to the next level for his master's thesis project. He created some modern art wall hangings that, in and of themselves, are gorgeous. But then he reaches into his creations, pulls them down off of the wall, and uses them as sturdy, functional furniture.
These are equal parts adorable, refreshing, and beyond delicious.
A Georgia police officer pulls over someone for running a stop sign, but when a man from another car approaches, the situation turns tense, then heartwarming.
Ryan Willsea was fishing off the coast of Louisiana when he saw two sharks fighting and recorded it all with his GoPro.
I didn't know yoga for your eyes was a thing. Then I watched chef Miyuki Adachi form pasta by hand and I felt serene, calm, and a little hungry...just like after regular yoga, except not as sweaty.
I'm a big believer in forgiveness, and not just because I make a lot of mistakes. But because it's good for you and for your relationship if you're able to work things out and move past them. But there are some things you can't let slide in a relatio
Have you ever had a partner who was so in your head that all of a sudden, you woke up and realized you were willingly doing things you'd never usually agree to? Odds are you fell prey to a master manipulator. Manipulation in a relationship is a serio
Before I left for my first cross-country road trip with my now-wife, one of our friends told us it was going to put our relationship to the test. All that time bottled up together in a tiny car is sure to stretch the communication skills and patience
I'm a firm believer that your partner doesn't need to know every thought or feeling you have. You're still an individual. You don't have to communicate everything. But there are some things couples don't communicate about enough. Those things are usu
When you find your heart's companion, some next level happiness happens. Birds help you get dressed in the morning. Sunsets happen at all times of the day or night. And you might even feel that magical sense that your life is complete. But that's on
Hear ye, hear ye! I officially declare this the glorious start of the "I don't care what you think" phase of your life. Unless you were already in that phase, in which case, here's a fist bump and a celebratory bottle of wine. Or some rent money. Sid
No matter how happy you are, and how nice you think you are to your partner, there are totally those moments when you accidentally hurt them. You just feel all your inner jerk well up and explode out of your body. We all do it. In fact, as a Domestic
I'm newly an expert at gross things that can happen to your nails. I purchased, what I now know to be a questionably legal hard gel, from a store in a faraway country with, let's just say, less strict regulatory policies. And wouldn't you know, now m
What are the new, hot, quirky makeup trends going to be for 2017? Well, I'm glad you asked. In 2016 we saw a glorious array of unicorn, mermaid, holo, and glitter magic, and 2017 is shaping up to be similar. And the magic won't just be in a single it...
It takes a lot of effort to become who you're supposed to be, and to crush your goals. It will take even more effort if you're constantly distracted by body things you're self-conscious about that are totally normal. I mean, if you're anything like m
It's safe to say that 2016 has been a hard year for losing fashion icons. When we lost David Bowie, I remember thinking to myself, "at least we still have Prince." And then we didn't. Prince's publicist confirmed in a statement Thursday that Prince h
What if I told you there was a way to get your cult beauty favorites at less-than-drugstore pricing? You'd rejoice, right? Makeup is expensive! Sometimes I feel like having kids would be cheaper than maintaining my manicures and my glow. Sure, someti
What exactly is the #monkifesto? Well, it's a lot of things. It's the brainchild of a clothing company putting their values up front. It's a movement to empower women-identified people to end period shame, love out loud, grow their hair if they what
The deep wound right through the middle of your chest caused by the end of Harry Potter is finally getting a chance to heal, thanks to Fantastic Beasts. And now you can look magical as you mend, thanks to the Hot Topic Fantastic Beasts clothing line.
ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) isn't funny or cute or quirky like it's often portrayed. It's not just a case of being distracted or antsy. It's a serious condition that can make life extremely difficult. Being in a relationship with
Low self-esteem affects relationships in so many ways that it's almost mind blowing. There are almost too many negative side effects to list. Relationship behaviors that might mean you have low self-esteem are, coincidentally, common fight starters, and even breakup fuel.
The good thing about having a string of failed relationships is that you get a lot of opportunities to learn from your mistakes so that you don't repeat them in the future. While relationships dynamics and requirements differ depending on the couple, there are some things you should never have to do for love.
There's not just one limited view of beauty, despite what most of us have been led to believe. Lately I've started to sneak out of the body closet and admit things I'm supposed to be ashamed of, like that the size of my body doesn't have to stop me from doing anything, like being active or wearing bikinis.
Lesbians don't sleep with men. It's kind of the defining characteristic of a lesbian, right? So why do so many of my fellow lesbians, myself included back in the day, occasionally consider (or excitedly jump in to) a night filled with dude penis? Especially when they manufacture plenty of beautiful, technologically advanced, detachable lady penises?
Gadgets plus food. If that doesn't make your heart skip a beat, you might need to have your pulse checked. Sure, everyone uses their phone to take those mouthwatering Snapchat and Instagram pics of their brunch, but for most, that's where the connection to food and gadgetry stops... until today, that is.
Pizza, to most of us, is a pretty specific thing. Crust, cheese, probably pepperoni, or maybe some basil if you're feeling fancy. But maybe simplicity doesn't always give pizza its full range of expression. After all, it's basically the blank canvas of food; a little of this, a little of that, and you can create a unique masterpiece.
Just when you thought sandwiches with bacon couldn't get any better... It's time to get serious here for a second. Not to be a downer, but were you aware that all around the world, there are people eating sandwiches without proper bacon distribution? Sandwiches where every bite could have that celebratory snap of bacon bliss, yet don't?
The Japanese are known for their fearless creativity when it comes to-well, basically all things. But none are more impressive than their array of Kit Kat flavors. The Internet opened up and sucked us into a deep, deep wormhole of Japanese Kit Kats; in fact, there are so many that we had to stop ourselves at 52 so we could go on with our daily lives.
Is there anything more glorious than cheese? Think about it. Cheese makes every food better. It tastes like winning. It makes you feel happy inside. And it comes in a million flavors. Most of us are used to the garden variety grocery store cheeses, but cheese making is a serious, ancient and, creative art form that produces some pretty extreme products.
When people say "food can kill you," they usually mean it in the abstract sense that a poorly balanced diet can contribute to disease. Not here. We're taking on foods that can kill you, and we mean actually kill you. As in dead. Today.