Awful Announcing/The Comeback
I couldn’t paint you a picture (unless it’s on Procreate). I probably can’t hit the ball out of Fenway and I can’t play the piano. But when it came to sports writing, I could always just play (bonus points if you get the reference). I live for sports, with my whole heart and soul. If you’ve found your way to my writing portfolio, chances are, you probably do too. Connecticut born and bred (cue Brass Bonanza) with degrees from Syracuse (broadcast and digital journalism) and Fairfield (creative writing MFA), my career in sports media has spanned over a decade, winning three national awards for my work as a fantasy analyst. If you’re seeking a polished, versatile writer with a curious mind, an empathetic heart and an irreverent sense of humor, look no further.
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Awful Announcing/The Comeback
Director Matthew Hamachek offers a behind-the-scenes look at his Apple TV docuseries chronicling the New England Patriots' dynasty.
Apple TV's The Dynasty docuseries has plenty to say about the human condition, illustrating the immense cost of greatness.
Rob Gronkowski has kept busy in his post-playing career, though his foray into mainstream media has been a mixed bag.
With their pointed agendas and relentless gate-keeping, baseball writers have made the Hall of Fame vote about themselves.
Zion Williamson's poor fitness and inconsistent play both warrant criticism but have the boo birds, led by Stephen A. Smith, gone too far?
It's no surprise Shohei Ohtani's free agency devolved into chaos, with Jon Morosi and others prioritizing speed over accuracy.
If ESPN doesn't pony up big bucks, the worldwide leader risks losing its public face, Stephen A. Smith. But would he actually leave?
Sports Illustrated's AI controversy is a concerning sign for the future of journalism, treating writers as expendable.
Michigan's explosive response to recent cheating allegations, resulting in Jim Harbaugh's suspension, is not a good look.
When it comes to Immaculate Grid, longtime Hartford Courant columnist Dom Amore might be the best there is.
The NBA's inaugural in-season tournament is upon us. Should fans be excited or turned off by what many perceive as a shameless marketing ploy?
Derek Jeter has been an awkward fit at Fox, struggling to connect with audiences in his first postseason as an on-air analyst.
Jac Collinsworth didn't seem ready for the big stage Saturday night, renewing concerns about nepotism in sports media.
Katie Nolan's revealing interview with Dan Le Batard shows the ugly side of sports media, an industry that can't get out of its own way.
Get Up and First Take, both staples of ESPN's morning programming, have shown little interest in this year's baseball postseason.
The Kelce brothers aren't just dominating football-they're changing sports media with one of the most popular podcasts in America.
Concussions are an epidemic, but is the NFL doing enough to protect its players from CTE? The jury's still out.
The media can't get enough of Deion Sanders, drawing obvious parallels to the curiosity that was Tebow Mania.
Entering his seventh year in the CBS broadcast booth, does Tony Romo have what it takes to get back on track?
Lionel Messi has taken the league by storm since his arrival in MLS. But what happens when the novelty wears off?
With FS1 abandoning its "embrace debate" edict, Skip Bayless could be poised to take Undisputed in a new direction.
The illusion of access is helping athletes reshape their narrative through sports documentaries in their own words.
Sports media's infatuation with celebrity culture has made its way to the broadcast booth, foreshadowing where the industry might be headed.
Jon "Stugotz" Weiner of The Dan Le Batard Show might be the most bullet-proof character in all of sports media.
Chris "Mad Dog" Russo is enjoying a career renaissance at ESPN, becoming a weekly fixture on First Take alongside Stephen A. Smith.
Recent layoffs at The Athletic illustrate the flawed business model that has doomed so many sports startups, treating writers as expendable.
What's the old saying, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em? The golf world is still reeling from Tuesday's seismic betrayal, with the PGA-in a flagrant display of greed- forming an unlikely partnership with its sworn enemy, LIV Golf, in all its Saudi-tainted blood money.
The deterioration of sports journalism is equal parts heartbreaking and inescapable, a product of both moral decay and changing societal sensibilities with audiences prioritizing spectacle over substance. The discourse has never been less sophisticated, with "entertainment," usually in the form of red-faced gasbags screaming themselves hoarse on daytime television, substituting for measured analysis.
Has The Dan Le Batard Show lost its fastball? Many of you seem to think so. In fact, Le Batard has made a habit of reading listener complaints live on air. How is this for feedback? "Sorry guys, somebody writes in, show's just not for me anymore with the increased movement toward political extremism and the choices of guests you routinely have on."
Check your wallet. Is there a credit card in there? Maybe a wad of twenties? Good-you're going to need all of it. Watching the game at home has never been more expensive or cumbersome, a frustrating though perhaps unavoidable byproduct of the streaming revolution.
How far has ESPN's star fallen? It depends who you ask, though it's hard-especially during these playoffs-to ignore the growing gulf between ESPN's NBA Countdown and its TNT counterpart Inside the NBA, the latter representing the industry's gold standard for studio shows.
Let's be honest - Pat McAfee doesn't fit the mold of your usual ex-ballplayer analyst. For one, he didn't play a position of much consequence (how many specialists land studio gigs in their post-playing career?) or for terribly long, retiring months prior to his 30th birthday.
ROTOWORLD/NBC SPORTS
I have thoughts. Many, in fact. No, not on the Red Sox's farcical, intelligence-insulting Mookie Betts trade (Since when do the Red Sox care about the luxury tax? John Henry's life is a luxury tax) or Eminem crashing The Oscars.
Not all Super Bowls come down to one play. This one did. Perhaps that's painting with too broad a brush. Boiling the most important game of the 2019 season down to a single snippet isn't just an oversimplification-it's borderline irresponsible.
Let's be honest. Last year's Super Bowl ... kind of a dud (One combined touchdown? Who do I call about a refund?). If it were an Uber ride? Probably one star-two if we're being generous. Harsh? Maybe.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on on a weekly basis.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on on a weekly basis.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on on a weekly basis.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on on a weekly basis.
Fantasy football is, at its core, an exercise in risk analysis. Points are our currency and every article we digest, every podcast we engorge ourselves in, every box score we study is aimed at shining a light on safe, bankable volume we can rely on on a weekly basis.
You get what you pay for, right? Well, not always. Take the deep-pocketed Red Sox, for instance. After steamrolling the Dodgers (and seemingly every other opponent on their path to World Series glory) en route to their fourth title of the current century, the Red Sox got the band back together for another run at October in 2019.
I don't want to come out and say the preseason doesn't matter ... but does it? I understand it's a necessary evil that coaches use to evaluate players, but is success in August really that predictive of what we'll see in the regular season? In most cases, the answer is a resounding no.
At least once a year growing up, my grandfather would take us all to see the Rock Cats-formerly the Double-A affiliate of the Minnesota Twins-play at New Britain Stadium.
There's a scene in Better Call Saul-a Breaking Bad spinoff centered around conniving lawyer Saul Goodman and however you'd choose to describe Mike Ehrmantraut (Wikipedia settled on "private investigator, head of security, cleaner and hitman")-where an unnamed character taunts Mike, challenging him to take his gun away.
What has gotten into the New York Metropolitans? I demand answers! The world was a simpler place when the Mets-the deranged, over-caffeinated cousin of New York's more accomplished baseball outfit-were a punchline, functioning as low-hanging fruit for embattled FAN callers and a cautionary tale for everyone else.
I had a particularly gluttonous dog, who I adored, growing up in rural Connecticut. He wasn't the most cunning canine (in 14 years, he never quite grasped potty training) but Oz did have his moments of inspired lunacy that I suppose, in the most generous sense, could be construed as brilliance.
2019 has not been Chris Sale 's year. He finished the first half with an ERA over four-the first such occurrence in his 10-year career-while failing to make the American League All-Star squad after starting the Mid-Summer Classic in each of the previous three seasons.
Best. Hard Knocks. Ever. Antonio Brown, Jon Gruden, Vontaze Burfict ... that's enough, just sign me up. A million times. The only thing that could possibly make this any better is if hometown hero Marshawn Lynch returned for one last season (not a huge leap in logic after seeing how long his previous retirement lasted).
Oh, the thrill of gainful employment. After months spent navigating the free-agent wilderness, Dallas Keuchel finally returned to the workforce Thursday, ending a lengthy hibernation by agreeing to a one-year, $13 million pact with Atlanta.
Draft season won't heat up until August but it's never too early to start plotting your fantasy team's name. You never know when inspiration might strike. I say this from experience. A quick sampling of some of my fantasy team names: Sunnyvale Mustard Tigers: Any Trailer Park Boys fans in the room?
As Lucille Bluth would say, you can always tell a Milford man. A Milford man is neither seen nor heard. In fact, most of the time, you can hardly tell they're there. Which brings us to baseball's forgotten team, the Tampa Bay Rays.
Adam Gase arrives in New York with plenty to prove. Jesse Pantuosco dissects Gase's quest for redemption in Tuesday's Bump and Run.
If you ask for my television leanings, I'd probably refer you to one of my favorite sitcoms ( Seinfeld, Parks and Rec, Community, Arrested Development, The Good Place) or perhaps a high-concept drama like Breaking Bad. But to me, soap operas are off-limits-except for one.
Jesse Pantuosco peels back the curtain on his 2019 fantasy rankings in Tuesday's Bump and Run.
Anyone who enjoyed The Office has to appreciate the character arc of Cardinals coach Kliff Kingsbury. He may look like Ryan Gosling (known for portraying one of the worst football players in cinematic history), but don't let that handsome mug fool you-Kingsbury is Jim Halpert through and through.
In his seminal poem, The Road Not Taken, literary icon Robert Frost wrote of a road "less traveled by." In doing so, he encouraged his readers to stray off the beaten path and blaze their own trail. It's a fine sentiment, but what Frost failed to do was warn his audience of how exhausting that endeavor could be.
A wise man by the name of Christopher Wallace-also known by his rap moniker the Notorious B.I.G.-encouraged us to "spread love, it's the Brooklyn way." Well apparently that sentiment hasn't reached Queens yet as the Mets and Phillies wrapped up a contentious series at Citi Field earlier this week.
Jesse Pantuosco cracks open his notebook to evaluate QBs Dwayne Haskins, Daniel Jones, Drew Lock and Kyler Murray ahead of Thursday night's draft.
All aboard the Vogey Train. Next stop ... October? That's the hope in Seattle, where the surging M's are hoping to laugh in the face of Vegas and everyone else that dismissed them as an AL West afterthought. Fresh off another one of GM Jerry Dipoto's offseason trading sprees, Westgate Sportsbook set the Mariners' win total at an aggressively mediocre 72.5.
Has Antonio Brown ascended to villain status? Jesse Pantuosco discusses his heel turn in Tuesday's Bump and Run.
Recently my friend told me about a time his roommate joined him on his morning bike ride to work. My buddy, who has spent the bulk of his post-college years living in Brooklyn, is a seasoned vet when it comes to weaving through New York traffic. His roommate ...
How do you put Rob Gronkowski 's mesmerizing career into words? I don't know, but I'll try. It's surreal to be talking about Gronk in the past tense, because in many ways, it feels like he just got here.
Odell Beckham? Gone. Landon Collins? See ya. Jesse Pantuosco contemplates the Giants' grim future in Tuesday's Bump and Run.
His much-anticipated choice didn't come until the last day of February and a full two weeks into spring training, but after months of posturing, Bryce Harper 's free-agent guessing game is finally over. Tag, Philly. You're it. Whether Harper actually wanted to be a Phillie is up for debate, not that it matters much now.
After nine years in Pittsburgh, Antonio Brown is ready to leave the nest. Where will he land? Jesse Pantuosco discusses in this week's Bump and Run.
Super Bowl LIII is finally upon us. Jesse Pantuosco breaks down some of the game's biggest storylines in this week's Bump and Run.
While flipping through the channels the other night, I stumbled upon the timeless Talladega Nights, one of the most quotable comedies of the current century and, in my opinion, a top-three entry in the Will Ferrell cinematic canon ( Anchorman and Step Brothers round out the top three.
Jesse Pantuosco highlights the emergence of C.J. Anderson and a missed opportunity for the Chargers in this week's Bump and Run.
My abrupt exit from this year's fantasy proceedings presents an interesting moral dilemma. Brad Evans of Yahoo Sports showed us where his line in the sand is last week, arguing that spoilers have no place in the fantasy realm. If you're not in the playoffs, don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Last year, the NFL's Defensive Rookie of the Year debate was an open and shut case. Tre'Davious White made a late push, but fellow first-round cornerback Marshon Lattimore was always the clear frontrunner. Lattimore was a deserving winner, holding down PFF's No.
Three weeks ago, Washington was sitting pretty at 6-3, comfortably ahead of division rivals Philadelphia, Dallas and New York in the NFC East. But since then it's been a bloodbath as the reeling Redskins have dropped three straight while losing their top two quarterbacks to season-ending injuries.
Todd Bowles is firmly on the hot seat, but he's not the only coach feeling the heat. Jesse Pantuosco discusses in this week's Narrative Street.
You want to talk tilting? Well you came to the right place. I may as well be board-certified in that subject. I could probably teach a college course on tilting after the week I just had in fantasy. Heading into Sunday night's Eagles/Cowboys showdown on NBC (shameless plug), I was waiting for the bullet.
The NFL narrative machine has been unusually busy in 2018, churning out headline fodder at a blistering pace. Whether it's been the emergence of uber-cool gunslinger Patrick Mahomes, Le'Veon Bell's ongoing contract saga (which now includes a chapter devoted to L.A.
Meet Rooney, my family's adorable not-quite-puppy-anymore. He's a three-year-old beagle, a feisty little guy who spent the first few months of his life on an Amish farm in Pennsylvania. Now let's get one thing straight.
The Cowboys and Titans entered Monday night at desperation's door. With both coming out of their bye at 3-4, Dallas and Tennessee could aptly be described as "not quite out of it ... but getting close." The wide-open NFC East, currently led by the 5-3 Redskins, has kept Dallas in the hunt while the Titans trail only the surging Texans in the AFC South.
Doubt Deshaun Watson at your own peril. Jesse Pantuosco highlights the quarterback's impressive start in this week's Narrative Street.
Not to be dramatic, but it's good to have a life again. Now that the MLB playoffs are over (#DamageDone), I have two orders of business: 1) play the hell out of Red Dead Redemption on Xbox and 2) see the new Queen biopic, .
New England's dynasty should probably be over by now. No scratch that-it should DEFINITELY be over by now. If the Patriots were a library book, they'd be WAY past due. None of this should work. Think about it. Their star quarterback began his career during the Clinton administration.
Most of the time, fantasy football is an exercise in pain and suffering. Even the best among us aren't batting 1.000. Inevitably, whether it's this week or the next, one of my five season-long teams will get its teeth kicked in.
Drew Brees has been an absolute monster this year. David Johnson has not. Jesse Pantuosco discusses in this week's Narrative Street.
As a writer, you never know when inspiration might strike. That light-bulb moment could happen anywhere, whether it's in the shower or the drive-through line at Dunkin'. It could even come while creeping on your next-door neighbor who, for whatever reason, felt that 9 AM on Monday morning was an appropriate time to rip a tree out of the earth.
I'm not mad, Saints D. I'm just ... disappointed. I'm not saying you singlehandedly cost me three of my season-long matchups (like Tron Carter, I plead the fifth). But allowing 48 points and over 500 yards of offense to the No. 30 team in last week's Power Rankings wasn't quite what I had in mind.
The great Elton John once said, " Saturday night's alright for fighting." Well in Major League Baseball, any day will do just fine. Tensions can be high this time of year with teams making their postseason push and that was certainly the case for Yasiel Puig, who let off some steam Tuesday night before getting into it with Giants backstop Nick Hundley.
If you're going to erase a seven-year playoff drought, you have to win the easy ones. The Brewers weren't able to do that on Thursday. Handed a two-run lead against the Padres, owner of the NL's worst record, with All-Star closer Corey Knebel on the mound, this should have been a layup.
The date is August 7, which means we are well into mock draft season. In many ways, this is the most bizarre time on the entire fantasy football calendar. We haven't seen any real football yet, aside from Thursday night's sluggish Hall of Fame Game featuring a rough-around-the-edges Lamar Jackson and the ghost of Robert Griffin III ( Breshad Perriman and his iron mitts also made a cameo in Canton).
Not leaving anything to chance, the AL-East-leading Red Sox made a splash at this year's trade deadline, acquiring Gold Glover Ian Kinsler to sure up second base while also adding flamethrower Nathan Eovaldi to bolster the team's starting rotation.
" It's time to party! " You said it, Dennis Eckersley. The Red Sox are partying like it's 1949. Why's that? That's the last time the Red Sox were 37 games over .500, just as they are currently. Much of Boston's success is owed to Mookie Betts, who stared down J.A.
You're not Ron. Right you are, astute reader of Rotoworld. Drew Silva is enjoying some R & R on the Cape, so I've been summoned for a one-week cameo on Power Rankings. Forgive me if I'm a little rusty. By my count, it's been 266 days since my last MLB Power Rankings.
They say elephants never forget. And apparently, neither does Hunter Strickland. The Giants closer boasts a high-90s fastball, but what you won't find on the scouting report is that he also has a photographic memory when it comes to players who have wronged him (at least in his mind).
I drove to Cape Cod for a friend's bachelor party on Friday afternoon and spent most of the car ride listening to Boston sports radio. And boy do I regret it. Bertrand and Zolak on 98.5 had me in such a panic I literally had to pull over at one point.
Thursday is why we can't have nice things. Clayton Kershaw 's return was supposed to be a cause for celebration. Couldn't the injury gods wait 24 hours before raining on our parade? I guess not. Back from a month-long bout with left bicep tendinitis, Kershaw took the hill Thursday at Chavez Ravine in search of his second victory of 2018.
I know I shouldn't admit this, but I'll level with you guys-I'm fried right now. It's been a hectic month putting together the Draft Guide (it's coming along nicely) and as soon as I press submit on this article, I'll be packing up my car and moving into a new apartment.
The A's had Moneyball. The 76ers had The Process. And now the Rays have ... well we don't have a name for it yet (somebody get on that). But whatever this unnamed thing is, it's weird ... and I like it. But not everyone is enjoying the Rays' grand experiment.
The Yankees went into Houston and took the Astros' lunch money. Call it revenge for 2017. In a rematch of last year's American League Championship series, the Yankees demoralized the reigning World Champs, taking three of four including a come-from-behind 6-5 win in Thursday's series finale at Minute Maid Park.
Nobody thought Cleveland would actually do it. There were rumblings the Browns had their eye on Heisman Trophy winner Baker Mayfield but conventional wisdom suggested they'd pivot to a more traditional quarterback. Someone like Sam Darnold, everyone's safe choice, or Josh Allen, a toolsy project with big hands (good for gripping footballs in the snow) and a gargantuan throwing arm.
Three quarterbacks were drafted in the first round last year. This year, we could see four signal-callers go in the first five picks. However it shakes out-the Browns are still mulling between Josh Allen and Sam Darnold while the Jets are having a similar debate over Baker Mayfield and Josh Rosen-it's clear that this year's crop of quarterbacks is unusually deep and perhaps as polarizing as any we've seen in recent memory.
Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again ... To say the Reds' season has been bleak would be putting it lightly. Cincinnati's nightmare start has nothing on Simon and Garfunkel . They've won just three of their 18 games so far, giving them the worst record in MLB.
Uh oh ... Dez Bryant is mad on the Internet. ? Twice? Let's see https://t.co/939nM5atzi - Dez Bryant (@DezBryant) April 13, 2018 If I didn't have my edge I got it now... I'm sorry they got to feel me it's personal...
When David Price put pen to paper on a seven-year, $217 million contract with the Red Sox, he knew expectations would be through the roof. Which is why when things went south for Price last year, the toughest sports city in America (although you could make an argument for Philadelphia-they did pummel Santa Claus with snowballs that one time) let him hear about it.
It's important to remember that Jon Gruden, Oakland's $100 million retread of a head coach, wasn't hired to make personnel decisions. Those duties, at least in theory, should fall in the hands of long-time GM Reggie McKenzie. But in looking at Oakland's offseason transformation, it would be naïve to think McKenzie is running the show.
No Giancarlo Stanton. No Dee Gordon. No Marcell Ozuna. No Christian Yelich. What do the Marlins even have left besides that ridiculous statue in center field? They even lost their biggest fan, the artist formerly known as Marlins Man. Things are so dire in Miami right now that it's actually become news.
Three words: trust the process. It's all happening, guys. Maybe it didn't feel any different when you woke up this morning (aside from the general fatigue that comes with Daylight Savings), but I promise you everything is different today. We now live in a world where the Cleveland Browns, the NFL's perennial laughingstock, actually matter.
2017 was quite a year in MLB. A prophecy was fulfilled thanks to Kate Upton's husband and a kid from Connecticut, a new home run mark was set, David Price waged war with a Hall of Famer, Derek Jeter burned the Marlins all the way to the ground (Dan Le Batard can tell you about it) and the shortest player in baseball won MVP.
Let's get one thing straight-Mike Florio nailed it. Last week the head honcho at ProFootballTalk suggested Marcus Peters could be on the move, a theory that was widely dismissed by football Twitter. One of the more outspoken dissenters was Matt Conner from Arrowhead Addict, who promised " Marcus Peters is never going anywhere.
Somewhere within this vast universe, an alternate timeline exists where an aging Tom Brady reluctantly passes the baton to Jimmy Garoppolo, extending New England's reign of dominance well into the next decade. But back in the real world, Brady is still licking his wounds from Super Bowl LII and Jimmy G is making it rain Kenny-Powers-style on the West Coast.
One of my friends, a lifelong Eagles fan, sent me this text after the Super Bowl: "I'm beyond happy right now. Never thought I'd see it in my lifetime." You're not dreaming, Eagles fans. Sunday night actually happened. David finally slayed Goliath.
The Chiefs: done-zo. The Rams: adios. The Bills: thanks for playing. The Panthers: better luck next year. That takes care of the first four playoff teams, but there are still plenty of dominos left to fall before Super Bowl LII kicks off in exactly 26 days.
For fantasy purposes, I don't have any vested interest in Josh Gordon. I don't have a single Gordon share in my season-long leagues and I'll be fully fading him on FanDuel this week against a tough Chargers secondary. But I'm rooting for him Sunday and you should too.
Monday night's game wasn't the finest display of football you'll see this year. In fact, Jon Gruden had trouble choosing a player of the game, so he went with the Ravens' special teams coordinator.
But this one takes the cake. Nathan Peterman ... over Tyrod Taylor? Really? I know I sound like Captain Hindsight from South Park here, but how in the world did Sean McDermott arrive at that decision? I don't blame Peterman at all for what happened in Sunday's blowout loss to the Chargers.
At one point during Monday night's broadcast, ESPN analyst Jon Gruden said, "Miami hasn't been a primetime team." You can say that again. At 4-5, the Dolphins are still, at least mathematically, alive in the AFC playoff hunt. But if Monday was any indication, this team doesn't have much fight left in it.
I don't think the universe hates my brother, but it definitely hates his fantasy team. I've been playing in a fantasy league with Luke for five years now. He's come close a few times, but has never gotten over the hump. And when I say over the hump, I mean he's never even made the playoffs.
Relative to other sports, the NFL's trade deadline is usually a snooze-fest. But in a year where crazy has become the new normal, Deadline Day 2017 has been an absolute doozy. I already addressed New England's surprising, but ultimately necessary decision to move Jimmy Garoppolo in Tuesday's Dose, so instead let's focus on what went down in Buffalo, Seattle and Philadelphia.
Sports fans still reeling from the emotional rollercoaster of Sunday night's World Series Game 5 weren't given much time to recover. Monday, aka Trade Deadline Eve, was chock full of football headlines, with the biggest news dropping at roughly 8 PM ET.
They say variety is the spice of life. But as 2017 has taught us, variety and success don't always go hand in hand. There's a Venn diagram where those two concepts meet-you saw it happen Thursday night against the Chiefs.
Three weeks into last season I made a bold claim that Carson Wentz was indeed a thing and yes, I have the tweet to prove it. That stance turned out to be a tad premature as Wentz faded and the Eagles slumped to a 7-9 finish under first-year coach Doug Pederson.
"And that is how quickly a season can change." Those were the ominous words of Kevin Harlan moments after Celtics forward Gordon Hayward suffered a devastating ankle injury in Tuesday night's NBA season opener. If you haven't seen the video yet, you won't want to.
Not that we ever were, but DeAndre Hopkins and I are no longer on speaking terms. I'll explain. I'm proud to say I had a mini-sweat on Sunday. I'm an admittedly low-stakes DFS player, usually limiting myself to between $50-100 a week in entry fees on FanDuel.
In the song , Andre 3000 declared the famous yet simple words, "I am for real." Of course, this was always true of Andre 3000 in the literal sense, but I like to think there was a deeper meaning behind his statement, perhaps a foreshadowing of sorts.
That was a baaad week. I'm not saying it wasn't a blast-Rams/49ers was one of the best Thursday night games we've seen in ages while Tom Brady's showdown with Deshaun Watson in Foxboro more than lived up to the hype. But from a pure fantasy perspective, it was Armageddon.
I don't remember the exact quote from the ESPN 30 for 30, but I remember Curt Schilling saying something to the effect of, "It was never as close as it felt like."
This story doesn't have much to do with Power Rankings, but I'm going to tell it anyway. Let the record show that on September 5, 2017, I had the worst fantasy draft of my life. I'm not being dramatic either. This team's a real lemon. See for yourself.
Who needs Floyd and Connor when you have Miggy and Romine? There was nothing zen about Thursday's encounter between the Yankees and Tigers, which would serve as their final meeting of 2017. All that was missing from Thursday's grudge match was Wes Mantooth and a trident-wielding Brick Tamland.
The Cubs don't really play baseball games anymore. They're more like life experiences. If you've ever seen Reservoir Dogs, you'll know that at the end of the movie only Steve Buscemi survives (I don't feel bad about spoiling the plot because it came out 25 years ago).
But don't let those examples fool you-the magic happens all year round, not just in October. If you're having a bad day, know that Chad Bettis has probably had worse. The Rockies hurler has spent much of the past year battling testicular cancer.
Much like Artie Lange in Elf , the Bengals sit on a throne of lies. Most teams have submitted their initial depth charts and you'll forgive me if I'm a bit skeptical. Jeremy Hill as the No. 1 back in Cincinnati? Fourth overall pick Leonard Fournette a co-starter beside underachievers Chris Ivory and T.J.
Fans at Wrigley Field had to wait out three rain delays in Thursday's Cubs/Diamondbacks game. For those who stayed, it was well worth the wait. While maybe not as bonkers as Tuesday's patently absurd Red Sox/Indians showdown, there was plenty of crazy to go around Thursday at Wrigley.
Before I begin this hot mess of a column (you'll see), let me give you the 411. Usually my Tuesday nights are spent reading, thinking and writing about football. But this week, I made an exception. This weekend I'll be a groomsman at my friend's wedding in Los Angeles (I just found out I'm giving a toast, too).
Let's have a quick conversation about Kenneth Dixon. Let's make this one count too, because this might be the last time we talk about Dixon this year. That's because his season is already over. Kaput, gone, blouses. It's history. Looking back on it, Dixon's season may have been doomed from the start.
It's true the Dolphins only beat one team with a winning record last season. It's also true that team was the Pittsburgh Steelers, who proceeded to annihilate the Dolphins when they met in the playoffs. The Dolphins are no doubt privy to this information-they lived it, after all-but they sure aren't showing it.
To quote The Big Lebowski , "Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear, well, he eats you." That may as well be a one-sentence summary of Kyle Schwarber 's career in the major leagues.
If you're building a roster from the ground up as all teams must do at one point or another (although I'm starting to wonder if New England's dynasty will ever subside), drafting a franchise quarterback is a good place to start. Really, it's the only place to start. But that's not enough.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. Jeremy Maclin has been on both sides of that fence. Maclin's debut season with Kansas City was everything he could have hoped for. He took the bull by the horns in 2015, leading the playoff-bound Chiefs with 1,088 receiving yards on a career-high 87 catches.
The Houston Astros were awesome and won the World Series. The End. Now be honest, is that a movie you'd go see on opening night? Would you even rent it on Netflix? No sir. That's because there's no conflict. Take it from me, an aspiring novelist who earned his MFA in Creative Writing-there's no story without conflict.
The AL West race was fun while it lasted, wasn't it? To say the Astros are running away with the division would be putting it lightly. Houston is blazing through the AL West like the Golden State Warriors tore through the Western Conference on their way to the NBA Finals.
What day is it, Wednesday? Whatever- let's party! Isn't that the best party song ever? Shout was actually played over the stadium speakers Monday night in Nashville just as the Predators were putting the finishing touches on their Western Conference title (don't @ me about hockey-I only care about the Hartford Whalers).
Baseball is full of beefs. Half of them involve Jose Bautista. As you'd expect, Bautista was front and center Wednesday when things got heated between the Braves and Blue Jays. The first domino fell in the seventh inning when Blue Jays outfielder Kevin Pillar took exception to a quick pitch from Braves reliever Jason Motte.
If they ever rename Yankee Stadium (spoiler: they won't), here's my suggestion: name it Astros Park. Why? Because it belongs to the Houston Astros. Yankee Stadium has been given various nicknames over the years. Some days you'll hear it referred to as "the house that Ruth built," while other days Derek Jeter gets the credit.
"I mean you kind of suck, but my dad says you might be good some day." These are the optimistic, yet slightly insulting words of Stan Marsh, one of the main characters from South Park. He was speaking to Jay Cutler, who at the time was the Denver Broncos' starting quarterback.
The Yankees swept the Cubs at Wrigley, but was it enough to move them to No. 1 in the Power Rankings? Jesse Pantuosco has your answer.
Cubs/Phillies isn't a matchup you're likely to see in October-the Phillies haven't played postseason baseball since Roy Halladay was in his heyday back in 2011. But that didn't stop them from playing an instant classic Thursday at Wrigley Field.
We've all said it, usually in a dimly lit man cave, probably with more than a few empties scattered across the carpet. The room is adorned in sports memorabilia-framed jerseys, autographed balls, pennants over the mantle. There's also a dent in the wall from the time you threw the remote across the room after a particularly devastating playoff loss.
The transformation is complete. After chipping away for weeks, the New York Mets have finally become the New York Knicks. Long losing streaks, injured stars, locker room drama, all that's missing is the triangle offense. The Mets' latest loss-a 7-5 defeat to Atlanta Thursday at Citi Field-got so out of hand I half-expected Charles Oakley to be dragged out of the stadium.
I'll admit it-I read the comments. A large percentage of the comments I get on articles like this are from diehard fans who can't understand why I hate their teams so much (for the record, I don't!). But last week a reader asked me what goes into my Power Rankings and I really had to stop and think about it.
Friday, April 14, 2017 Well Thursday night was ... kind of a disaster. It was also my birthday! Such is life. First off, our CMS (content management system) was down for a large part of my news shift. Computers are basically evil, so I guess that's just an occupational hazard.
I had the Twins at No. 28 in my Power Rankings this week, which is bad because there are only 30 teams in Major League Baseball. I guess they didn't take too kindly to that. There are four remaining undefeated teams in MLB. The Twins are one of them.
I swore I'd never do Power Rankings again. Don't worry-I had my fingers crossed. 30 teams, six divisions, 162 games-this shouldn't be too hard, right? Arguing about Power Rankings is half the fun of it, but I think we can all agree the Cubs belong at No. 1.
Remind me never to play cards with Dusty Baker. Fantasy owners have been trying to read his poker face all spring. Hey Dusty, you've been using Koda Glover in the ninth inning-is he your closer? What about Shawn Kelley? And how are those trade talks coming with David Robertson?
As nature intended, Clayton Kershaw fanned 11 hitters over six scoreless frames Thursday against Texas. But I'm guessing you've already read enough Kershaw articles for one lifetime (I know I've written enough), so let's talk about somebody else for a change. First, a little backstory.
I've been counting down the days until March 21 (I know ... it's finally here!). That's because Dave Chappelle's long-awaited standup special is finally on Netflix. I saw Chappelle perform in Hartford a few years ago (not the show you're thinking of) and still watch reruns of his show on Comedy Central every chance I get.
There's no need to rack your brain for a word to describe Super Bowl LI. I already have the one you're looking for: greatest. And I'm not just talking about the game. Greatest quarterback, greatest coach, greatest comeback-Super Bowl LI had it all. The Patriots really upped the ante this time.
It's been a postseason of blowouts. Just don't expect another one in Super Bowl LI. What you should expect is a track meet. Vegas has already set the over/under at 57, the highest in Super Bowl history. The Falcons scored the seventh-most points in league history this season and they aren't even the favorites.
The Chiefs have never been must-see TV. For years they've moved the ball incrementally under the league's most careful signal-caller Alex Smith. There's no denying Smith's effectiveness-or at least his penchant for limiting mistakes-but it doesn't make for great water-cooler conversation. " Hey Bill, did you see the Chiefs' game yesterday?"
We have arrived at Thanksgiving, or Turkey Day, or the Giving of Thanks if you're not into the whole brevity thing. And for the first time in a while, the Giants have a lot to be thankful for.
The Raiders are alone atop the AFC West and are now on the cusp of their first winning season since 2002. But Monday night's win was far from smooth sailing. It took some late heroics by Amari Cooper and a pair of close calls to put away the Texans in a thrilling 27-20 victory in Mexico City.
Knowing that the Patriots would be No. 1 again this week, I scoured through the archives to see exactly how many times New England had claimed the top spot in my rankings. Here are the results: Week 1: Cardinals Week 2: Patriots Week 3: Patriots Week 4: Patriots Week 5: Broncos Week 6: Vikings Week 7: Vikings Week 8: Patriots Week 9: Patriots So there you have it.
Huh? New England looked as dominant as ever in Sunday's blowout win over Buffalo (ironically, the Bills are the only team they've lost to this year), but the latest news out of Foxboro makes no sense. Sending Jamie Collins, PFF's No.
Arian Foster has always marched to the beat of his own drum. He's lived an ambitious life off the football field, pursuing creative interests like acting and poetry. A Sporting News profile from 2011 referred to Foster as "The Most Interesting Man in the NFL."
The great Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Take this as your opportunity to look around and admire the rapid progress made by many of the teams on this list. Take Dallas, for example.
"Don't lead with this, Jesse." That was the little voice inside my head talking to me. Maybe you have one too. I listen to mine most of the time, but today I'm ignoring it (*presses mute button*). Before you say anything, let's address the elephant in the room.
So here's the rub. The Patriots and Broncos have been far and away the two most impressive teams in the NFL this year. But we don't do ties around here, so someone has to lose out. Let's go over their credentials. Last year the Patriots' biggest criticism was that they couldn't run the football.
What debate? While Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were hashing it out in the first of three presidential debates, the Falcons and Saints waged battle in the Big Easy. The game carried added significance to the Saints, who were celebrating the 10-year anniversary of their dramatic return to New Orleans following the devastating events of Hurricane Katrina.
They came. They saw. They conquered. But mostly, the Steelers were just fun to watch. That has always been the case with Ben Roethlisberger, a master improviser with a flair for the dramatic. But now this is Antonio Brown 's team, his league, his world. And it all came together on Monday night.
Seven months ago, confetti was falling from the heavens as Peyton Manning hoisted the Lombardi Trophy one last time before riding off into the sunset. It was a fitting end to a marvelous career for No. 18. But that was last year. Denver's victory lap is over.
Carson Wentz ... you're up. The Eagles decided to wipe the slate clean this weekend by sending Sam Bradford to Minnesota for a first-round pick in 2017 and a fourth rounder in 2018. Acquiring Bradford will help the Vikings stay competitive while Teddy Bridgewater heals up but it's still an enormous return for a deeply mediocre quarterback.
This was not the article I was planning to write. When I sat down for Friday's Daily Dose, I started writing about Andrew Benintendi and what his injury means for the Red Sox. I devoted several paragraphs to this subject, but you'll never see them.
Las Vegas will always hold a special place in my heart because it's where I met Brett Vandermark and Ed Williams, who eventually hired me to come work at Rotoworld. In addition to being the only place you can get away with charging $50 to see Carrot Top, Vegas is also known for producing top baseball talent.
There's not a ton to be gained from watching HBO's Ballers. It's essentially an Entourage retread set in Miami with Dwayne Johnson (the man who gave us The People's Elbow) playing the lead role of Spencer Strasmore, a financial advisor who once played for the Dolphins.
Add another name to the jersey (wait, they retired it??). The Browns have a new starting quarterback and his name is Robert Griffin III. Don't look so surprised. If you've been following the Browns at all this summer (who hasn't?), you'll know that Griffin was always favored to open the year as Cleveland's top signal-caller.
It's decision time. No, I'm not talking about the election. This is the week where teams will begin taking inventory of their assets (if they haven't already), deciding whether to buy or sell at the trade deadline. Contending teams are usually the buyers, looking to fill a specific need before a postseason run.
Later this week I'll be getting my master's degree in creative writing, which makes what I'm about to say a little embarrassing. For years, I've had a book on my shelf. You probably have it on yours too.
Sometimes I like to think of baseball in Breaking Bad metaphors. If you've watched the show, you probably remember Mike Ehrmantraut's famous "half measures" speech. Essentially a half measure is a temporary fix, a Band-Aid that covers up the problem only until it resurfaces, like a car donut or an extra pair of glasses.
On the NBC sitcom Community, a show I don't reference nearly enough in this column, one of the more famous episodes involves the use of alternate timelines. Within the timelines are alternate versions of each character including, for those of you familiar with the show, Evil Troy and Evil Abed.
Thursday night was the NBA Draft and it brought back painful memories. I remember three years ago on draft night when Danny Ainge broke my heart by trading two of the greatest Celtics of all-time, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett, to the Brooklyn Nets. At the time, it felt like a punch to the gut.
It's been a busy few weeks for me. On second thought, busy might be an understatement. In that span, I've been to two weddings and a bachelor party, moved to New York City and contributed three articles to this year's Rotoworld draft guide (look out for the kicker profiles).
Colby Lewis was on the cusp of making baseball history ... and then he wasn't. That's baseball for you. Thursday the Rangers right-hander came within four outs of throwing the 24th perfect game in major league history. When that ship sailed-Oakland first baseman Yonder Alonso drew a two-out walk in the eighth inning-Lewis still had a chance for his first career no-hitter.
I heard a story once about Scottie Pippen. Apparently the NBA Hall of Famer and sub enthusiast likes to order desserts at restaurants but he'll only eat one bite, just so he can get a taste. That's kind of what the NFL offseason is like. Yes, teams are practicing but it's not the real thing.
Do you believe in miracles? Well you don't have to because the Braves aren't making the playoffs (they're projected to win 59 games according to fivethirtyeight.com). That means Thursday was the Giants' last game ever at Turner Field, which for some reason is closing at the end of the year.
It's finally nice outside (maybe it's been nice where you are for a while-I live in the Northeast), so why not check the temperature around the league? In New York, the forecast is cloudy with a chance of holdout. Ryan Fitzpatrick's contract stalemate with the Jets has been one of the offseason's biggest nonstories.
Maybe we don't have flying cars or time travel yet but I think we can all agree that this world is a lot different than the one we grew up in. Need proof? Check out Evan Silva's Post-Draft Top 150. I'll admit it was a little jarring to see that many wide receivers in the top 10.
It was a pitching battle for the ages ... well on paper, at least. Thursday's game at Citi Field featured two aces but only one stuck to the script. Stephen Strasburg, fresh off a monumental contract extension, displayed his usual brand of dominance, limiting the Mets to one run on six hits over six marvelous innings.
If you're as Seinfeld-obsessed as I am, you probably remember when George Costanza awarded a scholarship to a student because of his interest in architecture. When describing his academic qualifications, George remarked that Steven Koren was " right in the meaty part of the curve -not showing off, not falling behind."
In A League of Their Own, Tom Hanks utters the famous line, "There's no crying in baseball." Funny, he didn't say anything about fighting. Let's start at the beginning, because this fight was really seven months in the making. You all remember it- Jose Bautista's famous bat flip in Game 5 of the ALDS.
Welcome to Boston, David. I know what you're thinking. Why say that, Jesse? Don't you know David Price has already made five starts at Fenway Park? He even had his own bobblehead night earlier this week (featuring his famous four-legged friend Astro). But come on, that wasn't the real Price.
I hope Sam Bradford wasn't expecting a hero's welcome. The former No. 1 overall pick returned to the Eagles Monday following a ridiculous two-week holdout. I'm guessing the mood wasn't all that celebratory. No balloons, no cakes-just the awkwardness that follows when your leader abandons you in a time of need.
If you were a basketball fan in the 1990s, you're probably familiar with this Sports Illustrated cover. Back then it was a fair question: were the Bulls, an unbeatable super-team featuring the greatest player of all-time (do I really need to say who that is?), ruining basketball?
We've seen it before. The first round slide has become a staple of draft night. It happened to Aaron Rodgers in 2005 and again in 2014 with Johnny Manziel. Those can be explained. Quarterback wasn't a need for many teams in 2005 while Manziel's short stature and reckless off-field behavior made him a shaky prospect.
Let's be honest, it doesn't matter what the Patriots do this offseason. You know they're going to go 12-4 again. They've finished with that exact record each of the last four seasons. Why would 2016 be any different? The Patriots didn't have to do much tinkering but they did anyway.
In addition to my baseball responsibilities, I'm also a football writer. So it's only natural for me to compare the two. This might seem like a reach, but I see a distinct parallel between kickers in fantasy football and closers in fantasy baseball. Stay with me here.
There's a part of me, not a huge part, but definitely a part of me that still aches from what Kirk Cousins did to me two weeks ago. Like most people who frequent this site, I play in several fantasy leagues. 10-team, 12-team, two-quarterback, PPR, keeper, auction-you name it, I play it.
There's nothing quite like the NFL. In what other business could you punch one of your co-workers in the face, break his jaw, get fired, and land on your feet with a new job in less than 24 hours? This farfetched scenario happens to be IK Enemkpali's reality.
The last two Heisman Trophy winners met Sunday in South Florida, and you better believe the cameras were rolling. One of the two touted signal callers melted under pressure, shrinking into his shell like a frightened turtle. The other looked his critics square in the eye and delivered a debut for the ages.
Usually when a player finds his way into Bill Belichick's doghouse, it's hard to get out. But the Patriots coach made a rare exception for Brandon Spikes. The last time Spikes was with the Pats, Belichick benched him for showing up late to practice.
Potential is one of the trickiest words in the English language. It's all about context. In sports, we often speak of "endless potential." But if too much time passes, the conversation then shifts to "wasted potential." Steelers wide receiver Martavis Bryant has reached a difficult crossroads-the point where limitless potential meets wasted talent.
And you thought this week was going to be about Jared Goff and Carson Wentz. The NFL's longest running soap opera wrote a new chapter on Monday. Tom Brady's on-and-off suspension is officially on again. The United States Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit decided to reinstate Brady's Deflategate suspension, which was previously overturned by Judge Richard M.
I'm sure at least some percentage of the 35,397 fans at Nationals Park had somewhere to be Sunday night. Dinner plans, watching Game of Thrones, catching the end of that crazy Hawks/Celtics game. Woody Allen once said, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
Teammates turned rivals. Brothers turned enemies. Sunday's matchup at Yankee Stadium was downright Shakespearean. Welcome to Narrative Street, folks. Okay, maybe I need to brush up on my Shakespeare. There doesn't seem to be any animosity between Hisashi Iwakuma and Masahiro Tanaka, but it was still thrilling to see the former teammates go at it on Sunday.
Want to have a productive Tuesday? Here's some advice: don't read this article. As you may have heard, Marshawn Lynch announced his retirement on Sunday. Of course, that's only if you count a cryptic tweet captioned by an emoji an "announcement." But given Lynch's aversion to the media, it's probably the closest we're going to get.
Have we entered the Golden Age of pitching? Here are the facts. Clayton Kershaw recorded 301 strikeouts last season, the most of any pitcher since 2002. Zack Greinke posted a 1.66 ERA in 2015, the lowest we've seen since 1995 (1.63 for Greg Maddux).
Have you ever played the game where you try and guess how many M&Ms are in the jar? Of course you have. Now whether you've actually had any success playing this game is an entirely different conversation.
With not much happening in the NFL this week, you know, besides that whole Super Bowl thing, now feels like as good a time as any to speculate wildly. So let's talk about this Vegas thing and see where it takes us. I like Vegas. You like Vegas.
We've all seen it-the end of Good Will Hunting where Robin Williams tells Matt Damon "It's not your fault." It's not the best scene in the movie (Ben Affleck's "Best Part of My Day" speech holds that honor) but it's a memorable cinematic moment nonetheless.
SlimFast Eddie? What about Treadmill Eddie? No, no, I got it-CrossFit Eddie. We've made a lot of jokes at Eddie Lacy's expense this year but the fact remains that 2015 was easily his worst season. The extra weight he lugged around certainly didn't do him any favors. Just ask Packers coach Mike McCarthy.
What's that old saying, a picture's worth a 1,000 words? Well what about a tweet? This game is the worst - Jesse Pantuosco (@JessePantuosco) November 3, 2015 My account was not hacked. This was an actual tweet sent by me. Oops.
Monday night's Eagles/Giants matchup wasn't the riveting, drama-packed thrill ride we were hoping for. At best, this game would have been a 40 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. In fact, if you're running out of space on your DVR, I'd give it the axe, unless you want to see footage of Bradley Cooper hanging out with Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie in a luxury suite.
Michael Vick said, "It's not how you start, it's how you finish." That's an understatement. On an extraordinarily sloppy night of football in San Diego, Le'Veon Bell rose above the mediocrity to deliver a last-second touchdown, sealing the Steelers' 24-20 win over the Chargers. If only games had a fast-forward button.
When Tom Brady decides to tuck and run there's nothing fast about it. So why would his appeal hearing be any different? If you haven't turned on a TV in a couple months, the Patriots quarterback was suspended four games after a three-month investigation revealed he was "at least generally aware" of violations related to underinflated footballs (not to shamelessly self-promote, but I did write an article on this topic not too long ago).
On Xbox, have you ever set the difficulty to "rookie" on Madden and just destroyed the computer? It's a real confidence booster. I bring it up because that's essentially what Aaron Rodgers did to the Chiefs in Monday night's win.
Last week, in case you missed it, I fawned over Marcus Mariota like a schoolgirl worshiping Ryan Gosling. And how could I not?
Talk about a 180. Once upon a time, Matt Harvey was the ace of a staff headed to the postseason. While October baseball is still in the Mets' future, it's unclear if Harvey will be joining them. Now that players are being monitored more closely than ever, it's not uncommon for teams to establish innings limits for pitchers coming off major injuries.
Thanks, but no thanks. That's what free agent running back Pierre Thomas said to the Texans on Wednesday. Thomas was the preferred choice to replace injured bell-cow Arian Foster but apparently wasn't willing to work for the veteran's minimum. That would have paid Thomas $870,000.
On the season premiere of Ballers, Dwayne Johnson's character offered this piece of advice: "If it drives, flies or floats ... lease it." Now I'm curious to hear The Rock's stance on fireworks. Giants DE Jason Pierre-Paul pulled out all the stops for his 4th of July bash in Miami.
The golden boy has some explaining to do.
In Sunday's Daily Dose, Jesse Pantuosco looks at Adam Wainwright's injury and a special moment for Mitch Harris ...
Wednesday, March 11, 2015 While we're waiting for the other shoe to drop (looking at you, DeMarco Murray), here are some quick thoughts on what's transpired in free agency.
Like opening presents on Christmas morning and shooting fireworks off on the 4th of July, cookouts have become a Memorial Day staple. Burgers, dogs, potato salad-it's all part of the holiday's mouth-watering goodness. So excuse the Pittsburgh Pirates for beginning the feast two days early.
The Sports Network
Brett Gardner won't let the Yankees go down without a fight ...
Notice something unusual about Alex Torres? Oh yeah, it's his hat.
Come to Boston K-Love. We have tacos! And Mark Wahlberg!
Baseball was awesome yesterday. Let's talk about it ...
They spell it Skaneateles but it's pronounced "Skinny-atlas." At least that's what they told me ...
Another Seinfeld themed fantasy article because why not?
Today, we discuss the origin of the famous Mexican Fighting Beagles ...
Dwayne Bowe's performance this year hasn't won him any new fans in the fantasy community.
I describe Albert Pujols' season ... using fast food metaphors.
Think I'm ready to jump off the Yasiel Puig bandwagon?
Evaluating Snoopy's fantasy prospects ... and yes, I'm being serious.
The Pacers are 8-0 and Paul George deserves most of the credit ...
The rest of the NHL could learn a thing or two from the Flyers & Penguins.
A fantasy article about ... well, who knows. You should read it though ...
Call be crazy, but I'm not sold on Joel Embiid ...
All eyes will be on Xander Bogaerts in 2014.
You'd hate to be the Blue Jackets right about now ...
An article devoted entirely to the art of vulturing ...
If you think about it, Jaromir Jagr & Ozzy Osbourne actually have a lot in common.
Joe Mauer has abandoned the catcher fraternity. How long until everyone else does the same thing?
People aren't excited about Russell Westbrook coming back and you know what? I get it ...
Craig Kimbrel will change the way you think about closers ...
Twelve personalities you might encounter in your fantasy baseball league this season.
A Biogenesis decision is nearing and that could complicate things for fantasy owners ...
Stephen Curry should probably go purify himself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka ...
Guess what's right around the corner?
Stephen Drew could be a nice fantasy sleeper. He just needs a team first ...
Is it too early to start wondering about next season?
One last look at Heat/Spurs before we go into draft mode ...
Justin Verlander is broken. But how can we fix him?
The Orioles gave Nelson Cruz a second chance. Will he be able to take advantage?
Am I crazy or are triple-doubles getting easier?
Most of you paid $34 for Chris Davis on draft day. Here's how much he's actually worth ...
While the Angels have flourished, Josh Hamilton has fallen on hard times.
Tim Duncan & Dwyane Wade chilled during the regular season. Now they're dominating the playoffs ...
Can Brock Holt save Boston's Season? I don't see why not ...
Bob Ryan and Jonah Keri don't seem to be on the same page. But who's right?
My thoughts on Round 1? How much time do you have?
Yasiel Puig makes absolutely no sense and that's what I love about him.
Remember the time Elaine dated a "bad breaker-upper" on Seinfeld? The NFL's bad breaker-upper is the Philadelphia Eagles. Just ask DeSean Jackson. "When I was released by the Eagles, I feel they tried to paint a picture that definitely wasn't true," said Jackson on his new BET reality show.
The Kings just pulled off one of the greatest comebacks in NHL history. Here's how they did it ...
If it's true that where there's smoke there's fire, the Bills might need to find a fire extinguisher. Buffalo's biggest offseason prize, LeSean McCoy, remains a question mark for September 13's season opener against the Colts. It's a juicy fantasy matchup for the six-year veteran, which is probably why McCoy carries such a high price tag on FanDuel ($8,400).
I'm having an Austin Powers flashback. Remember how easy it was to get Will Ferrell's character to spill the beans? All you had to do was ask him the same thing three times. With the Steelers, it's even easier. You don't have to ask. They'll just tell you.
Let's be honest. What do most teenagers do when their parents leave town? They throw a big party. Carlos Hyde may not be a teenager anymore, but Frank Gore left town and he's ready to celebrate. Monday we were all invited.
Can Brock Holt save Boston's Season? I don't see why not ...
Roy Hibbert has fallen on hard times. So have the Pacers ...
Can Chris Davis reach 50 home runs again in 2014? The odds are against it ...
Did Case Keenum just become relevant in fantasy? Yup.
It's time to reflect on an important milestone: the NFL season is officially a quarter of the way over ...
The worlds of Ben Hinman and fantasy sports collide once again ...
Not a great week for the Norfolk Panting Badgers ...
Why Utah dug its own grave by picking Trey Burke ...
Can the Pats make it five in a row?
Every fantasy column needs a Justin Bieber rant, right?
What will the second-half have in store? I have a few ideas ...
Think Randall Cobb can be a top-ten fantasy wide receiver next season?
In the year 2018 (cue Conan O'Brien holding a flash light over his face) ...
My dad and I had a good conversation last night. Here is what we talked about ...
Which 2nd-year running back should you own? My vote goes to Alfred Morris ...
Verlander isn't the go-to guy in Detroit anymore ...
New fantasy baseball column. Spoiler alert: this article contains a very interesting piece of Seinfeld trivia.
The NBA playoffs are less than 24 hours away ... who's hungry?
I love how all the guys in the column photos are smiling even though I mostly wrote terrible things about them.
It's been a rough year to play fantasy basketball.
I introduce to you the fantasy column about nothing:
A look at some of the best players at this year's Las Vegas Summer League.
After a 4-year wait, the World Baseball Classic is finally upon us.
Should fantasy owners be concerned about the Heat's winning streak?
Another lesson for fantasy owners: the fast break is your friend.
The NBA regular season is only five days away, but there are still lots of questions that need to be answered.
Celebrating the worst in fantasy basketball in 2011-12.
Ever wonder how to pull off the perfect fantasy football trade? I give you "Trading For Dummies" ...
Nerlens Noel's knee injury has sparked plenty of debate.
Sometimes, making a trade isn't always the best way to go.
Just how bad of a free throw shooter is Dwight Howard?
Find out who the diabolical duo is in my new article.
If Ben Revere & A.J. Pierzynski could combine their powers, they'd form a fantasy superhero.
The Sports Beagle
Awful Announcing and The Comeback
Awful Announcing and The Comeback
Awful Announcing and The Comeback