Jeffrey Blum


Location icon United States of America

Hi, I'm a writer based in Los Angeles. I am interested in the intersection of soccer and politics, comedy and the comedy industry, the city of Los Angeles, and whatever else strikes my fancy. I also do some humor and personal essay writing. I have one double-jointed thumb.
If you would like to contact me to discuss a cool project, request further writing samples, or just to say nice things about me, you can contact me at Jeffreyweberblum (at) gmail (dot) com. My twitter handle is @Jeffblumatwork.

FIFA After the Arrests

But it is no accident that FIFA is corrupt; international sports organizations are nearly always corrupt. When you have a situation where a large, powerful, wealthy country wants something very badly (say, a vote for their hosting bid) from a small, poor country, chances are they will find a way to get it.

The Billfold
Wet Hot American Soccer Camp

The first thing my boss ever said to me was, "You haven't killed anyone have you?" This was at the soccer camp where I worked for two summers in college.

World Cup Preview, 2014

Anything less than a win will be seen as a failure. The last time Brazil hosted a World Cup, in 1950, they were overwhelming favorites but lost to Uruguay in the final, deeply wounding the national psyche. Brazil's most famous playwright described it as "Our Hiroshima."

World Cup Preview

On the one hand I feel like I should root against Mexico because they are our main soccer rival and every time the US plays in Mexico the Mexican fans throw stuff at the American players. On the other hand, they mainly throw stuff at Landon Donovan, who once peed on a Mexican field.


McSweeney's Internet Tendency
Adult Films I Could Star In.

Adult Films I Could Star In. These are the adult films I would star in if my current unemployment in Los Angeles forces me, like so many Los Angeles transplants before me, to enter into the adult industry. Would You Like Sausage With That Pizza?

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
I Am Elena Ferrante.

I Am Elena Ferrante. I have a confession to make: I am Elena Ferrante. When, in My Brilliant Friend, Elena Ferrante brutally exposed the class divisions in Neapolitan society, that was me. When she documented a tempestuous female friendship in Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, that was me as well.

Twitter icon