Jacy Topps is a journalist and essayist. You can find her byline at VICE, InStyle, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Oprah Magazine, Bitch Media, Wine Enthusiast Magazine, Slate Magazine, MUNCHIES, BUST Magazine, and Huffington Post. She has built her career as a journalist covering everything from race and food to LGBTQ topics. In addition to reporting on the intersection of culture, news and feminism, Jacy writes compelling narrative essays. She has interviewed a variety of celebrities, including Gloria Steinem, the Indigo Girls and Janet Mock. When she is not writing about food, politics, fashion or feminism, she is searching for the best wine bar in the city or binging on Lifetime movies.
Grief is already a complicated thing to experience, but what happens when the person you're grieving happens to be your abuser? Here, writer Jacy Topps explores what it feels like to negotiate feeling sad over the passing of someone who caused you harm.
I was sitting on the sofa crying, when my partner Nikki came out of the bedroom. I thought the hour-long argument we'd been having about money was about to start up again. Instead, with her eyes filled with tears. "We should go to couples' counselling," she said.
Is Taking PrEP, the HIV-Preventing Pill, "On Demand" As Safe As Taking It Daily? On the Eve of the Black Party, Remembering What It Meant to Dance All Night in 1989 Anti-Trans Republicans Are Disguising Their Bigotry With Mock Concern Finding Femme: The Quiet Resistance of a Small-Town Stylist for Trans Women and Cross-Dressing Men You've probably heard of the idea of a queer "scene," perhaps most often from people who don't care for it.
"I may never accomplish what my white friends accomplish or have the same things. Black women don't have the same opportunities."
"Black people don't do therapy; we go to church" is a statement I'd heard countless times in my community. We didn't discuss mental health so much in my family either. And when the concept of therapy did come up, it was doubly dismissed as a privilege purely for the rich, and something only white folks did.
During my first Thanksgiving in New York City eight years ago, I was so broke that I didn't even have money to purchase a Greyhound bus ticket to Atlanta to be with my family. I had been in the city for just a few months, so I didn't have many acquaintances.
I've been consumed with getting revenge on those who've wronged me for years. I'm not talking about the Lifetime movie kind of revenge, where people are pushed off cliffs or thrown out of windows, because I never did anything violent.
Photo: Getty Images / Fertnig Before I was assaulted, I loved wine. I would say my relationship with wine might even have bordered on a minor obsession. Before I started my writing career, I had a lucrative gig as a bartender at a high-end hotel.
I spent most of my teenage and young-adult years worrying about what other people thought of my choices: my clothes, my hair, my eating habits, my job, my relationships. Inevitably, this started to affect my decision-making. I took shitty jobs I didn't want because others thought they were cool; I stayed in relationships long after I should've let them go.
Whether it's CBD-infused beers, gummies, cocktails, chocolates or lotions, CBD is now everywhere. But what exactly is CBD and what does it do? Despite the soaring popularity, there's still so much consumers don't know about the cannabis compound. The cannabis plant is made up of two main compounds: CBD and THC.
Her family treated me like one of their own. It was Sandra's mother who put me on birth control, and Sandra's cousins who invited me to their weddings and graduations. I vacationed and celebrated holidays with them. Her family was there for me in ways my family couldn't be.
Institutional, systemic and structural racism combined with gender discrimination aren't only issues in the workplace, and here's why the mix of racism and sexism causes higher rates of depression in Black women, and what one women is doing about it for herself.
Edith Windsor and Thea Spyer were together for 40 years before they married in 2007. When Spyer died in 2009 Windsor, was ordered to pay $363,000 in estate taxes because of a federal law called the "Defense of Marriage Act," or DOMA.
Despite the lack of women in leadership, it has been women leading the fight within the cannabis movement in Canada, particularly the medical marijuana market. The first medical dispensary in the country was founded by Hilary Black in British Columbia in 1997, and women-led advocacy groups and activists like Tracy Curley have been paving the way for cannabis legalization for decades.
"It's just an election. Why are you people so angry?" "Get over it. Your side lost. Everything will be okay. It's just an election" "Move on. You will be okay." These were the things I read on Facebook after people started to share their worries about a Trump presidency.
Annual Sex Issue
It was the protest that was heard around the world. The day after Donald Trump was sworn in as the 45th President, millions of people marched in protest against his presidency and agenda. The Women's March rallied more than 2 million in the nation's capital and cities around the world.
Overcoming obstacles, redefining their fields, taking risks and creating spaces for others are what defines a trailblazer. Honoring women who make significant impact on the arts, culture and philanthropy, the Brooklyn Museum hosted Trailblazers: Women in Art. This year's ceremony was a part of the 10-year anniversary of the Elizabeth A.
Two years ago, Ericka Hart, a 30 year-old sexuality educator was diagnosed with breast cancer. To raise awareness and provide visibility for Black queer women who are battling with or have battled breast cancer, Ericka attended this year's Afropunk Fest in Brooklyn topless revealing her double mastectomy scars.
I was once asked to finish the statement My feminism is.... It didn't take me long to come up with an answer. I'm a gay, black women. My feminism is intersectional. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, your experiences in life are shaped by the intersection of class, race, gender, sexual orientation and identity.
In this issue join us for our coverage of how extremists are fanning the flames of LBGT discrimination under the Gold Dome. We also have an update on an arrest made in an anti-gay attack, photos from the Rustin/Lorde breakfast, a look at Sleater-Kinney's new album and more.
Food & Wine & Spirits
Nothing is quite like a perfectly grilled steak and a glass of wine. However, when the two are paired, we tend to default to the old "red wine with red meat" rule. The thought is that only red wine has the richness and texture to stand up to a steak's robust flavors.
Fed up with the persecution and police brutality they consistently faced for simply being who they are, when police raided the gay bar Stonewall Inn on June 28, 1969, its patrons fought back. Widely referred to as the start of the modern gay rights movement, that uprising at Stonewall Inn sparked a social movement that changed the course of American culture.
Cannabis-infused products are nothing new. They've been popping up throughout the country as more states legalize marijuana for recreational use. From cannabis-infused protein drinks to kombucha, the use of cannabis in our favorite drinks is not going anywhere. Now vodka lovers and cocktail enthusiasts can be excited about this new trend, too.
The soaring popularity of rosé in the U.S. is nothing short of astonishing. With celebrities producing their own brands to rosé wine festivals, the blush wine is everywhere! And with our favorite obsession of updating our Instagram followers on which rosé wines we're sipping on now, its popularity will only increase.
I have to admit, I'm not a big gin drinker. Gin tends to be a bit too harsh for my taste. But when I heard about a new gin-based spirit that was geared specifically towards women, the feminist in m...
After Trump won the election, I-like many Americans-went into a tailspin. The United States had just elected the most vulgar, uncouth, egotistical, and misogynistic man imaginable to the most powerful position in the world. Trump's campaign speeches and rallies were chaotic spectacles full of classless chants and vitriol.
BBQ is undoubtedly a southern staple, but each southern region has their own style of the dish. Atlanta BBQ is eclectic because it's influenced by the various surrounding states' style, including North Carolina and Tennessee. Locals love to sit on the patio at Fox Bros BBQ and enjoy a rack of ribs or a pulled pork sandwich.
Foodies and literary-enthusiasts alike celebrated the opening of Oscar Wilde NYC in 2017. Located in the NoMad area of Manhattan, diners are greeted by Oscar himself. Okay, not exactly. They're greeted by a bronze-casted figure of him sitting on a bench outside the front of the restaurant.
While Summer is well under way, it's not over yet! Which means there's plenty of time left for pool parties, rooftop hangs and rosé. Whether your favorite hashtag is #RoséAllDay or #YesWayRosé, there's a brand new rosé on the market that New Yorkers can get excited about.
Including the role Trader Joe's played in my reformation Autumn is upon us. As the weather cools, the breeze softens and the leaves fall, serious wine drinkers usually turn in their pinot grigio for pinot noir. To some people, autumn means pumpkin spice everything.
Online dating sites and dating apps have revolutionized the way we connect, date and hook-up with people. Although dating apps have seemingly made connecting easier, they've shed light on a major problem women having been navigating for decades: the abusive retaliation by rejected men.
New York City is known for its fashion, theater and food scene, but did you know that NYC also has an unparalleled cocktail scene? Yeah, I didn't either. So when I received my copy of New York Cocktails , I was super excited to delve right in.
I didn't get into thrift store shopping until I moved to New York City. Everyone here always seemed so stylish and put together. I didn't understand how New Yorkers could afford to be so chic all of the time until a friend of mine divulged her secret.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when I started to read Blind Acceptance , but what I do know is that the story blew me away. Written by Sandra Pimentel, the memoir takes readers on a journey through her childhood, the evolution of her marriage, her relationship with religion and how she navigates through the cultural complexities of the last half of the twentieth century.
I actually wasn't familiar with The Moth until Hannah Horvath, Lena Dunham's character on the hit television series Girls, decided to take up writing again. The season 5 finale had Hannah performing at The Moth's StorySLAM, where real people tell their true stories live without notes.
Written by Shanna Mahin, Oh! You Pretty Things follows Jess Dunne, a recently divorced California native, as she navigates through the not-so-glamorous side of Hollywood. The third generation Hollywood barista/aspiring chef goes from job to job, usually not giving any notice and is struggling to make ends meet. Make no mistake.
Wearing makeup is about so much more than accessorizing your look. It is often used as a tool of expression. And while people of all genders have been wearing makeup for decades, it's an industry that has only been marketed to one gender: women.
Whether it's a piece of jewelry or spiked stilettos, I love wearing statement pieces. They're bold, fascinating and sometimes, conversation starters. Right now, I'm wearing the Palma ring from . My statement: I'm an unapologetically sexual woman who is not afraid to show it.
Mattie James, blogging since 2008, is now a full-time fashion and lifestyle influencer in Atlanta. From beauty regimens and seasonal must-haves to blogger tutorials, Mattie James is the go-to blog to help create your stylish lifestyle. Have questions about marketing and branding in the blogosphere? Mattie James shares her experiences in her daily podcast.
New Yorkers are said to be the some of the most fashionable people in the world and I agree. But there's something to be said about the je ne sais quoi of a French woman. Even the most well dressed...
Fashion as a means of protest and resistance has been going on for decades. From Vivienne Westwood's "Destroy" t-shirts to Katharine Hamnett's "I Use A Condom" political tees to Dior models walking to Beyoncé's mix of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "We Should All Be Feminists" speech, the fashion industry has always used its platform to raise awareness and provoke.
Presented by Style Fashion Week, a producer of globally recognized fashion events, Malan Breton showcased his 2018 Fall/Winter collection during New York Fashion Week. Hundreds of guests, buyers, fashion insiders, media and VIP gathered in Cipriani's Midtown East location to see the collection.
The partnership between fashion and social awareness is nothing new, but if you're not familiar with Naja Lingerie , you will be impressed. They not only produce a beautifully-designed lingerie collection, but they are challenging the way we market to women and hire them.
I adore weddings. How can you not -the dresses, the champagne, the flowers? In full disclosure, I'm a bit more giddy about weddings this year because I myself, am getting married this year! So are you getting married this spring? Next Spring? Or maybe you're a bridesmaid in your BFF's wedding?
The best independent fashion designers come together twice a year during New York Fashion Week to showcase their collections at the award-winning Nolcha Fashion Week. Held at the sleek venue, ARTBEAM, this year's designers showcased their 2016 Fall/Winter collections.
While vodka is clearly the most popular spirit in the states, Irish whiskey is on a surge and ready to take over. Irish whiskey has been said to be the fastest growing distilled spirit category in the world.
France? No, the Bowery. Rich in culture and outstanding cuisine, France is everyone's dream vacation. But if you can't make it to France just yet, La Gamelle, under the new direction of chef Denis Kuc and consulting chef Michael Burbella, is your perfect alternative in NYC.
More than four decades after its Broadway premiere, Stephen Sondheim's A Little Night Music , remains entertaining and majestic. Under the direction of Judith Jarosz of Theater 2020 Productions, A Little Night Music, comes to life in 2016.
Rock and roll is not the first thing that comes to mind when you're thinking about the Upper East Side. Wild Horse Tavern is about to change all of that. From Executive Chef Max Renny - formerly of Fatty Cue and Fatty Crab - comes a new restaurant with a focus on innovative bar food and American rock & roll.
New York City has a very eclectic music scene and there is no shortage of live music options. But when I walked into The Cutting Room , I was reminded that all music venues are not created equal.
Long before people were sharing their food on Instagram, Eat-Art artist, Dorothee Selz , used food as a medium for artistic expression. Doing away with the formal presentation of food, Eat-Art artists believe food is not only an experience, but can also be an expression of art that all can enjoy.
Pride School Atlanta, one of the first of its kind in the region seeks to create a K-12 nonprofit school for LGBT educators, students and families, and is hoping to raise enough money to open the school this year. School co-founder Christian Zsilavetz has recruited renowned lesbian comic Suzanne Westenhoefer to join the effort and ...
I usually alternate my plans on Friday nights. One Friday, some friends and I might start out at a cute restaurant in the village and by the end of the night we're tearing up the dance floor. While the next Friday night, my plans for the evening usually are Netflix and takeout.
Our 2014 drag issue. We look into the beauty of queen culture. Plus, 10 things to know about Georgia marriage lawsuit, an interview with Panic! at the Disco's Brendon Urie and more.
Visibility and inclusiveness have always been two of the main goals of Atlanta Pride and nowhere is this more apparent than during the Dyke March and Trans March. The Dyke March has been an official tradition in Atlanta Pride celebrations for more than 20 years.